Greetings and salutations Mixtapers! Welcome to yet another stunning, flawless, amazing, giving you WICCAN REALNESS better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes when it never wants to be the same again.
It's Thursday and you know what that means. Besides being the thirstiest day of the week, it also means it's time for another fine, fresh, fierce, got those other blogs on lock installment of THROWBACK THURSDAY, the one day a week we'll give you a pass on wearing acid-wash denim jackets WITHOUT irony.
The past few weeks we've served NOSTALGIC REALNESS with the likes of classic 1990s teen comedies like "Clueless" and "She's All That" as well as looked back with sarcasm at the bliss that was MTV's "Daria." This week we're firing up our Delorean that we bought from Christopher Lloyd's garage to take us back the late 1980s to celebrate one of our all-time favorite films that used to be relentlessly played on television when we were growing up. Only in the 1980s could a film that included witchcraft, voodoo, rapping teens, naked ambition to become popular and give it a total sheen of wonderful wholesomeness as long as a moral lesson was learned at the end. But before we get to that bubbling cauldron of nostalgic goodness, we got a kettle just ready to overflow. So let us do what we do best and:
In our first cup of tea, Elizabeth Taylor hasn't even been buried yet and people are trying to walk all over her as those lovely folks at the Westboro Baptist Church have made plans to protest at the Hollywood legend's funeral for a myriad reasons including what they call her "enabling" of gays due to her HIV/AIDS work as well as the chief reason that the Church consists of total pricks. Try winning that slander lawsuit ASSHATS.
The Westboro Baptist Church will show up to any funeral to protest, for the flimsiest of reasons, just to get press. They are like if you took pseudo Hollywood actress Bai Ling and her tendency to show up to every Hollywood movie premiere and made it really toolish and offensive. You pretty much have nailed down the Westboro Baptist Church's methodology. You hear that Westboro. You're just a red carpet and discount designer dress from being the type of heathen you loathe.
Elsewhere, "Boardwalk Empire" starlet Paz de la Huerta, whose name will never not sound like some sketchy timeshare property Alan Thicke would try to convince you to buy in one of those late night infomercials on CNBC, got arrested for throwing a glass and punching former "The City" cast member Samantha Swerta. We're not quite sure what hurt Samantha more: the glass leaving pieces of itself in her skin or forever having to go through life having "former 'The City' castmember'" as your main identifier in articles.
In other court news, Lindsay Lohan, probably emboldened by jewelery store Kamofie and Company's total inability not to come off as opportunistic as well a member of Lohan's family, has told the judge in her case that's saying no to any plea agreement that would include jail time according to RadarOnline. While Lindsay has to contend with the fact that prosecutors are going to bring up her habit of allegedly having sticky fingers while the prosecutors have to contend with victims that had no problem selling the surveillance footage for some $30,000. Leave it to a Lohan case to make everybody involved look grossly unprofessional.
And that's the tea for today. Now fluff your hair and continue reading to get your THROWBACK THURSDAY on.