What the? What just happened? Is there an actual Glee episode that I enjoyed from the beginning to the end? What in the what? The episode was so strong that it actually filled us with glee.
This week: Continuity makes a rare but thankful reappearance, the new guy's hair continues to have more of a pronounced role than some members of the Glee club, breadsticks are talked about with the appropriate amount of fervor and reverence and Will Shuster makes it another week without rapping.
Mr. Shuster assigns the kids their assignment this week, which are duets and turns it into a competition. Naturally, this causes whacky hijinx as the Glee kids scramble to find partners. Mike Chang and Tina are together while Santana dumps Brittany to work with Mercedes, Brittany teams up with Artie, Finn and Rachel work together obviously, and Kurt and his fanboy crush try to get closer towards Sam because he has learned absolutely nothing from the fiasco of his Finn crush.
And shockingly, the show decided to call Kurt out on this.
Much like the season premiere opening sequence, Glee seems to be reading the various fan boards and tackling on the criticisms head-on which we respect. We cannot, on the other hand, respect the hat they have put on Kurt's head for the scene. You'd think after being at Mercedes' church last week, he would've be swamped in more fabulous hats than that piece of I'm-playing-shuffle-board-and-then-bridge-at-the-retirement-home styling choice.
Elsewhere, Rachel and Finn sang "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" and had delusions of being so awesome that they'd HAVE to throw the competition in order to make Sam and have him feel better about himself and therefore ensure his staying with the Glee club. Usually this sort of rampant narcissism, outsides the confines of the reality programs of Bravo, would annoy the piss out of it, but it's played so hilariously earnest by the two that we sort of love it.
Also in the episode Kurt's not dead dad gives him advice about his desires for Sam and Kurt decides to perform by himself which Santana astutely calls a duet with one's self "musical masturbation." Between that and Santana and Brittany's mention of scissoring, we're sure the Parents Television Council ADORED this episode.
Below, Kurt performs "Le Jazz Hot" from Victor/Victoria
Bonus: the original version
Artie lost his virginity to Brittany and was sad and zzzzzzzzzzzz. I'm sorry, that's not us falling asleep. That's the sound of us buzzing through our DVR past Artie and his obligatory scenes of melancholy.
Sam and Quinn end up dueting together to that damn Jason Mraz. The Fox Network's hard-on for Mraz, between Glee and American Idol, is something we will never truly approve of. But we enjoy Sam and Quinn being together. Their blond tresses and disturbing amount of pretty actually makes our eyes hurt, like looking into a fresh-faced solar eclipse.
Rachel and Finn hilariously throw the Duets competition with their version of "With You I'm Born Again."
The Glee kids called foul on how offensive it was but really, people who started a Britney Spears Sex Riot shouldn't be so persnickety.
We end our recap with our two favorite duets from the episode. First up, Santana and Mercedes work the hell out of "River Deep, Mountain High"
We love it because really, Santana is basically Ike Turner. Also, whoever decided to dress Rachel in this scene as Mickey Mouse should be fired.
And lastly, Rachel reached out to Kurt in an actually touching moment as the two sang "Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy" over the mandatory end-of-the-episode-montage-of-plot-threads.
It's so good we don't even have something snarky.
We end with the original from the Judy Garland Show:
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