Happy Thirsty Thursday. Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, cracking up your shit better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes when it doesn't want to have to pay a two drink minimum. Oh Thursday, it's one of our favorite days of the week as it brings us the stunning, flawless, amazing except for "Perfect Couples" and "Outsourced" block of NBC comedy night done right. They say that the sitcom format is a dying art, but we here at the Mixtape think that we're living in a glorious time of comedy with the NBC line-up as well as ABC's hit shows "Modern Family" and the awesome yet stupidly named "Cougar Town" plus Fox hit comedy "Raising Hope." So in honor of Thursday and all the comedy it brings to us, we're giving the Mixtape over to some of the funniest songs out there.
But before we get to the laughs, let us do what we do best:
First up, Halle Berry and her baby daddy Gabriel Aubry continue to gold medal in the Can't Shut The Hell Up Olympics as Halle recently took to "Ebony" to discuss her daughter Nahla. In the interview, Halle asserts that her daughter with Gabriel is Black, according to Berry's belief in the "one drop rule." Oh Halle, nothing says HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH quite like invoking an age-old rule that was used to discriminate against anybody who had some African history in their background. Totes brills, Halle, totes brills. According to TMZ, Halle saying the one drop rule line was in direct response to Gabriel who allegedly considers their daughter White. Apparently nobody in the Berry/Aubry household ever heard the term BIRACIAL.
Up next, time to update you on our favorite, often-mentioned on "Glee" actress!
To the surprise of no one, Lindsay Lohan has been charged with grand theft larceny for stealing that $2500 necklace that she could've bought at Claire's for five dollars. According to the ever reliable TMZ, the district attorney charged Lindsay with that crime based not only on the theft but her long, alleged history of getting in touch with her inner Winona Ryder having allegedly stolen things like a $400,000 necklace from a photo shoot as well as a $12,000 mink coat from a club. Girl Lindsay, you should've tried to have stolen the script of "Easy A" from Emma Stone.
And lastly, in WHERE ARE THEY NOW news, formerly relevant duo Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have decided to make like the viewing public and throw the towel in on their marriage. Maybe Ashlee kept walking in on Pete taking pics of his penis. Maybe he was angry that she never put out "The Ashlee Simpson Show" on DVD. Whatever the reason, the duo are dunzo. Maybe the Simpson sisters will get together for their own reality show if only for the inevitable lawsuit when they would be stupidly title it "The Simpsons."
Now onto the comedy bits! Don't forget to tip your waitresses!
And before you know it, an Internet sensation was born. Just when you thought the Crazy Delicious craze couldn't possibly be topped, Lonely Island came back with two amazing videos. First, they taught everybody what is the best gift to give to a lady friend:
And we also discovered what street cred "Black Swan" star Natalie Portman secretly had:
The Lonely Island even managed to accomplish the seemingly impossible task of making people like T-Pain and Akon relatively less annoying than usual.
And Andy Samberg helped give the illusion that Rihanna had something resembling a personality.
But Andy Samburg wasn't the first SNL cast member to use song as a way to get jokes. One of our favorite comedy singles has to be Jimmy Fallon and his song "Idiot Boyfriend." Ripping off Prince better than most people do, Jimmy, along with a blonde Zooey Deschanel, stars in a hilarious music video to go along with the tune.
He also gifted with the amazing Emmys opening sequence featuring everybody from "Glee" to Betty White and Tina Fey and Jon Hamm.
This would be the point that we would honor Adam Sandler. But we won't. We are morally opposed to his whole existence, especially starring in that shitty rom-com with the current queen of shitty rom-coms Jennifer Aniston.
Instead, we salute Weird Al, for all of his tireless efforts to send-up pop culture in his wondrously juvenile way.
And many hilarious tunes have come from shows that don't necessarily specialize in comedic songs. For instance, behold the majesty that is "Daria: The Musical!"
One of the greatest additions to the funny song pantheon comes courtesy of "30 Rock" with its ode to the fat that hangs over the side of your jeans.
And let us not forget the hilarity of the character Tracey Jordan and his Halloween single "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah."
Okay, so technically we were going to focus on intentional comedy, but we simply couldn't resist some of the big time celebs who tried to make the transition into singing careers. And failed in hilarious fashion.
There was "Heroes" turned Lifetime Movie star Hayden Panettierre and her ghastly song "Wake Up Call." There is something incredibly wrong when Paris Hilton's "Stars is Blind" sounds more authentically reggae-influenced and more vocally challenging then your own tune. We mean, seriously Hayden? This is such a bad idea we're surprised that the writers of the crappy last two seasons of "Heroes" weren't involved with it.
And oh Eddie Murphy, we'll give you credit for being able to rope in folks like Rick James and Michael Jackson to help that singing career. Yet there is not enough I CAN'T in the world for your music video with the King of Pop, with your sub-Prince "Raspberry Beret" animation.
Still better than every film Eddie has put out since "Dreamgirls."
And finally, because we're never above kicking a person when they are down, Ashlee Simpson getting booed at the Orange Bowl.
Bonus: Mad TV and their parody of "The Ashlee Simpson Show."
And with that, we bid you farewell. As always, we wish you love, peace and downloads! Be sure to follow us on Twitter as we live-Tweet the Grammys this Sunday! And now, BRING ON THE WHITNEY HOUSTON!
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