This Mixtape is Old as Dirt and Twice as Messy

I don’t remember if it was Lil Kim or Jesus who said it first, but Tiffany Pollard (aka New York from “Flavor of Love”) been gone for a minute, but she back with the jump off as she made headlines this month as she joined the latest cast of the UK reality show “Celebrity Big Brother.” 

And she’s barely been in the house and already has made waves, this week because she had a breakdown when she was told that “David” died and assumed they were talking about Liza Minnelli’s ex-husband/fellow “Celebrity Big Brother” house guest David Gest and not Angie Bowie’s ex husband David Bowie.

Nothing says bereavement quite like wacky sitcom-level mistaken identity shenanigans. Right? Right.

Anyway, the return of Tiffany to TV screens to once again scream about being the head bitch in charge has made yours truly fond of the time when VH-1 was full of “Flavor of Love” shows, and I’m launching a campaign to bring some of those ladies back to relevancy in 2016.

First up is Tiffany Pollard’s former rival Pumpkin. Pumpkin and New York got into a figurative and then literal spat on their season when Pumpkin proudly spit on New York while making her exit from the show.

Yeah, spitting on a person is gross. But it’s still not as gross as a group of grown women competing to have sex with Leprechaun: In the Hood Flavor Flav.

Next up is Hottie, who was also on New York season of “Flavor of Love.” When she wasn’t busily declaring that people said she reminded them of Beyonce, she was making horrifyingly awful chicken.

So I little to no evidence to prove this, but I somehow think that Hottie is responsible for the E.coli outbreak at Chipotle.

And finally, I submit the magic of Saaphryi and her iconic “lip chap.”

H-Town: “I’m a white girl. I’m frail.”

Saaphyri: “Well you should’ve thought of that before you were hitting people with flowers.”

Special shout-out to the girl who took a crap on “Flavor of Love.”

Still more dignified than some of the behavior on any version of “Love and Hip Hop.”

Source: Reality TV Gifs

Keep reading for this week's birthday-centric mix!

                               

Oh Mixtapers, nothing fills me with more completely unearned levels of delusion happiness than being back at it with all new Mixtape and what better way to kick off this return than to celebrate my birthday.

Source: Reality TV Gifs

We kick off this birthday mix on quiet note with Adele’s latest single “When We Were Young.”

When it’s your birthday, it’s super easy to get all depressed about being younger and wishing for the good ole days and all that nonsense. I, personally, am fond of getting older for the simple reason that it proves that I am, in fact,  not dead. And  32 was such a joyous year overall for yours truly, mainly because I got to join the folks of Live From La Crosse, a local sketch comedy group. And you know what’s the best part of surrounding yourself with extremely funny people? Knowing you’re always just two feet away from someone who is more emotionally unbalanced than you are.

Our next song comes from former “Parks and Recreation” co-star/star of the upcoming TBS series “Angie Tribeca” Rashida Jones and her ode to all things 1990s in the new music video “Flip and Rewind.”

Say what you want about her vocal abilities, I can at least tell you that this music video had a higher production value than all of Lifetime’s unauthorized TV movies of early 1990s shows you love to watch while super high on medicinal marijuana.

                                   

Subway, facing declines in sales because of the ubiquitous nature of the business and that whole scandal with their spokesperson being a big ole perverted a-hole, has unleashed a new ad campaign to make us all warm and fuzzy about sandwiches by way of going all Academy Awards biopic.

I don’t know how much truth there is to any of this Jersey Boys: Sandwich Shop Edition commercial, but I do know that one minute should’ve also been the length of the movie “Joy.” Take that shade, Miracle Mop.

And we turn back to this mix with one last song from the great Broadway legend Carol Channing. She’s about to get down and let everybody know how young she feels with the aid of a bunch of hippies including Tommy TokesTune.

Does anything say “young and with the now generation” quite like a number from “Mame”? I think not, kids. This is some old school realness. Like they don’t even still make this kind of gay background dancer anymore. I think the last time one of these were spotted was probably protesting the release of Al Pacino’s “Cruising” in 1980.

Well, that’s it for this mix. Tis a joy to be back! 

Every time you can start your car during subzero weather is a motherfucking blessing.