Happy Friday everybody! Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, dancing in the end zone better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes to instead of Disneyland when they win the Super Bowl. As you can tell, today's edition of the Mixtape is going to be a Super Bowl extravaganza eleganza as we tackle all things about the upcoming game on Sunday with the Green Packers taking on the Pittsburgh Steelers. We here at the Mixtape are actually kinda, sort-of, maybe excited for the game in an actual, non-ironic-hipster way for the first time in our existence. As the game nears, we've decided to turn over the Mixtape to all of the Super Bowl madness with tunes, game day party advice and so much more. But before we get into the huddle, we got one of those big Gatorade coolers just brimming some iced tea, ready to dump on the winning coach's head so let us do what we do best and:
First up, famed shoe designer Kenneth Cole has fucked-up in an extraordinary fashion via his Twitter account. Early yesterday, Kenneth Cole got the EXTREMELY WISE idea of tweeting to his followers the following message: "Millions are in uproar in #Cairo. Rumor is they heard our new spring collection is now available online at http://bit.ly/KCairo -KC"
After that, Kenneth Cole was inundated with lots of ARE YOU SERIOUS tweets back at him, he took to his Twitter to say, "Re Egypt tweet: we weren't intending to make light of a serious situation. We understand the sensitivity of this historic moment -KC." Yes, because nothing implies serious meditation on the Egypt situation like the idea that people are storming the streets for some over-expensive fuck-me-pumps. Twitter: Making Smart Celebs Dumb, Dumb Celebs Look Brain Dead, and the Brain Dead Ones Are Still Trying To Remember Their Password.
In other news, an ex-girlfriend of Halle Berry's baby daddy has come out and said to sources that Gabriel Aubry was prone to making racist comments, according to reports. The unnamed girlfriend spoke with TMZ, saying that Gabriel is "borderline racist" and that she was surprised that he dated Halle Berry giving his penchant for using the N-Word. First of all, how is somebody borderline racist? What does that even mean? Is that like Racist-Lite compared to Full-Fat Racist? Is that like being the Truvia of Racists? WE WANT TO KNOW. Also, we really don't have a dog in the fight that is the Berry/Aubry custody battle, but we do find it really suspect that we're just NOW learning about Gabriel's supposed racism after he and Berry were together for some five years with nary a peep from anybody.
And in more localish news, Bob Harper from NBC's "The Biggest Loser" needs a serious attitude adjustment apparently. According to a report in the Star Tribune, Bob Harper was in Minneapolis recently and tried to get a table for five reservation late in the afternoon on a Saturday for a 7:30 p.m. dinner at trendy restaurant Bar La Grassa through concierge service at American Express. When met with a "Oooh sorry not happening," the people at Bar La Grassa got a return phone call with American Express saying the person wanting the table was willing to "release their name" aka "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM; I'M ON ONE OF THE ONLY SHOWS KEEPING NBC AFLOAT." Unsatisfied with not being seated at a table, Bob Harper did what all celebs do and went to his Twitter: "OMG!! The manager at Bar Lagrasa in Minneapolis was SO RUDE to me. I wanted to have dinner there. Why are people so mean sometimes?"
What makes this better, besides the fact the phone calls between AmEx and the restaurant were recorded and no evidence of rudeness were on there, is the fact that 15 or so Bob Harper fans called the Bar La Grassa to yell at them about their treatment of the fitness guru. Lord, if there was ever a time to LOOK AT YOUR LIFE, LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES, this would be your moment.
And with that, we have sufficiently spilled the tea. Next up, we take on all things Super Bowl!
Oh Super Bowl, how you doin'? It's one of the most watched events of the year as millions of people gather around their televisions to watch two teams duke out for supremacy or for the always over-the-top commercials OR to see if anybody is going to be flashing some nipple during the halftime show. Whatever the reason, the Super Bowl is one of those events that you can't really ignore, even if you wanted to try to so we've decided to just turn this Mixtape into one big tailgate of a blog post. So start painting your face, locate that foam finger and get ready for some stunning, flawless, amazing, intercepting the ball from your favorite Mixtape action.
First up, we kick it off with the always necessary Queen. Queen is a staple of sporting events with their songs "We Will Rock You" and "We Are the Champions" being popular rallying cries in the sports stands as cheerleaders do their high kicks between inappropriate Tweets from football players on the sidelines. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT OUR JEALOUSY, we kick off this Mixtape with a fabulous Mixtape from the great minds of DJ Hero and their mash-up of Daft Punk vs. Queen "We Will Robot Rock You."
And to continue on the mash-up theme, our next song is something to rock while you're pre-gaming with your friends. Below, peep the amazeballs mash-up of twelve million people featuring Carl Carlton vs. Phoenix vs. Kanye vs. Jackson 5 vs. Daft Punk vs. Busta vs. Chicago vs. Tupac vs. Justice vs. Passion Pit.
Next up, Willow Smith makes the Beastie Boys whip their hair back in forth. In the name of Tibet of course.
And lastly, the pretentious of Lady GaGa and Coldplay collide in one fabulous dance song that would make even ice queen Paltrow crack a slight smile from joy. Or maybe indisgestion.
We momentarily break to give you some ideas for recipes, from some of the lovely hosts from Food Network. First up, our cooking goddess Sandra Lee makes some hot dogs wrapped in bacon because no artery should ever be unclogged.
Mmm, barely cooked bacon. Below, the Neelys make some food while simultaneously living life like their life is a Tyler Perry TBS comedy.
And lastly Aaron McCargo Jr. makes an Inside Out Burger on his did-they-really-have-to-name-it-that program "Big Daddy's House."
And now back to the tunes. With Aaron Rodgers and the Packers going to the Super Bowl, we hope this may FINALLY end a lot of the commentary talk about Brett Favre whenever the Packers play. Seriously, people have probably ended up in alcohol comas because of playing the "Drink Every Time They Mention Favre" drinking game some people have come to create. In honor of Aaron Rodgers keeping a sane head on his shoulder in the midst of all the madness, we select Solange's song "Fuck the Industry (Signed Sincerely)" since it'd be awesome if Aaron said something like that if the Packers win.
We know we've pretty much devoted all of our attention to the Packers today so we'll throw the Pittsburgh Steelers a little. We don't really know much (read: anything) about them other than their team colors are black, gold and white. And you know, that's good enough for us here at the Mixtape so our next song is from the needs-to-put-out-another-album-already artist Sam Sparro and the Al Usher remix of his tune "Black and Gold."
Bonus: Ellie Goulding doing a not terrible cover of the tune.
We flashback for second to "In Living Color" taking on the Super Bowl with the full version that had to be cut for a Richard Gere joke.
For both teams, as they head to Dallas, we just hope you don't get into any distracting "Sheen-nanigans" because you know that town is going to be packed with lovely ladies, all trying to take you out and have a good time and be your athletic supporter. For those groupies, we offer up Little Boots and the remix of her fantastic song "New in Town."
We pause to bring you our favorite commercial from last year's Super Bowl.
We love that a one minute ad has more romance, depth and better plotline than pretty much most romantic comedies put out in the last five years.
And we end this Mixtape with one last tune. Whether you win or lose is not important, and it's not how you play the game either. It's how much money from endorsement deals you make the day after the game that really counts. So pop some bottles and celebrate no matter what the outcome is because you're still making more money than God. And to that, we say "Congratulations" by way of Drake and his song "Congratulations" from his amazing "So Far Gone" mixtape.
And with that, we say farewell! We hope you have a stunning, flawless, amazing, throwing passes better than your favorite Super Bowl. Win or lose, we'll be here on Monday as we take on both the Super Bowl AND the all new special "Glee" episode following it. And on that note, we wish you love, peace and downloads. BRING ON THE WARBLERS FROM GLEE DOING DESTINY'S CHILD!
No comments:
Post a Comment