The Majak Mixtape - TUNESDAY! (5/3/11)

Morning Mixtapers! Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, SNATCHING THE ALBUM SALES OFF YOUR FAVORITE edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes when its first single off its latest album flops (SIDE-EYEING YOU BEYONCE). It's Tuesday and you know what that means, right? It's TUNESDAY, that special day of the week where we parse through the good, the bad and the Autotuned-to-death in new releases.

Today, we're taking on fantastic new releases from Architecture in Helsinki, Fleet Foxes, the return of Kelly Price, Britney Spears tour rehearsal footage, Chris Brown's new Michael-Jackson-rolling-in-his-grave-inducing music video, Jennifer Lopez's battle to reclaim her relevancy and so much more. Oh yeah, we're bringing it, serving it and making sure you take some home in a doggy bag today with this Mixtape. But before we get to the tunes, let us first:

In our first bit of tea, Donald Trump and Elisabeth Hasselbeck somehow manage to not make asses of themselves in regards to the death of Osama Bin Laden; the world nervously awaits the other two horsemen of the Apocalypse. First, Donald Trump took time out of his busy schedule of giving Z-list celebs work to take to his Twitter to actually compliment President Obama about the taking out of Osama Bin Laden:

See, now was that so hard Donald?

Off on "The View" on Monday, the ladies of the show discussed Osama Bin Laden's death and Elisabeth Hasselback, who usually never misses an opportunity to say something cringeworthy, managed to avoid taking any political bait being dangled by the other ladies and said, "Wait a minute, I think it’s insane to politicize this event right now, and I refuse to partake in that, at all." Somewhere, Kathy Griffin is having the worst sense of mixed emotions about this.

But thankfully to make sure that we didn't think the world had gone topsy turvy, Rush Limbaugh came and saved the d-baggy day by facetiously congratulating President Obama on his radio show. We're not quite sure is worse: Rush Limbaugh's patronizing tone about President Obama OR the fact that liberal folks were so deaf to that tone that they actually thought Rush Limbaugh, in some Oxycontin-fueled hysteria, was actually giving a sincere compliment of the President. Comprehension fail folks.

In other news, noted Oscar winning director Steven Soderbergh, who had flirted with retirement a few months ago, has decided to sign on for a new project; nothing like a love child from an extramarital affair to stoke the creative fires. Now what has the director of such films like "Erin Brokovich," "Traffic," and "Oceans 11" signed onto? A stripper film starring Channing Tatum. We couldn't make this up if we wanted to. According to reports, Soderbergh has signed on to direct the film "Magic Mike," a film based loosely on Tatum's experience as a male stripper when he was 19. Tatum has been cast as the veteran stripper helping guide the newbie stripper through the ropes. So basically it's the version of "Burlesque" we're actually going to care about. In the role of a stripper, Channing Tatum will finally be able to be called a stiff actor and not see it as a negative.

And that's just a bit of the tea. Now dance yourself into the rest of the Mixtape to get you some TUNESDAY EXTRAVAGANZA ELEGANZA.

Hey Mixtapers Hey! Thank you for continuing to the read today's Mixtape as we deliver all kinds of TUNESDAY REALNESS today with a jam-packed mixtape just bursting at the blog-seams with tunes. So let us not waste time, shall we?

First up on the Tunesday docket is from gloriously hipster band Architecture in Helsinki and their new album "Moment Bends." Like a lot of good hipster albums, "Moment Bends" is a delightful blend of a variety of synth-y influences paired with vaguely Prince-esque productions. There is a genuine sense of joy that comes through every song on the thing, like "Desert Island."

Or "Escapee"

It's never not 1982 in the world of hipsters. Gotta love it.

Speaking of hipster bands, Fleet Foxes is back with their sophomore effort "Helplessness Blues," teeming with their brand of chamber pop that makes us wonder if that is an organically-farmed banana in your skinny jeans pocket or are you just happy to see us.

We briefly pause the quality hipster music to bring you some high energy arm dancing. That's right, we've got some footage from Britney Spears' upcoming tour to promote "Femme Fatale" that surely will be having her rolling in even more Red Bull, Cheetos, and questionable hair extensions. Below, Britney Spears practices with dancers to her song "How I Roll" and ends up getting carted around the stage like an extremely fit Miss Daisy.

Totally worth spending a ton of money, right? Exactly.

Elsewhere, Chris Brown is dancing for his life in his latest music video for his Michael-Jackson-sampling tune "She Ain't You."

You know, when it comes to Michael Jackson, there are influences, then homages and then there are just flat out copyright infringements. We think that Chris Brown crossed into the last territory on the last one. Also, the rising into the air at the beginning of the video makes us want to refer to him as "Christ Brown."

But we will give him credit for making somewhat of a comeback. Another trying to make a comeback is Jennifer Lopez. You'd think she had choked somebody in a limo or something given her difficulty to get a hit of late, but she managed to make a splash on the charts with the aid of her "American Idol" judge position as well as the help from Pitbull on her "Lambada"-sampling track "On the Floor." Jennifer Lopez now has a new album out today titled "Love?" as well as a music video titled "I'm Into You."

Looking like an extremely expensive "America's Next Top Model" photo shoot, we'll give credit to J.Lo for never giving up the fight for relevancy and being able to capitalize on "American Idol" infinitely better than Paula "Still talking MC Scat Cat after all these years" Abdul.

In other new releases, Musiq Soulchild is back with a new album titled "MUSIQINTHEMAGIQ." Filled with soulful grooves, the thing we were must struck by was Musiq Soulchild's seemingly pathological disdain for using the spacebar when it come to his song titles. The whole album is peppered with songs with names like "Waitingstill," "Backtowhere," and "Likethesun." Look at your life, look at your keyboard Musiq. Below, Musiq's current single "Anything."

Bonus, the Central Line tune "Walking Into Sunshine" that Musiq is sampling to form the base of the tune.

Musiq isn't the only R&B person releasing a new album today as we see the return of Kelly Price to secular music with her new album simply titled "Kelly." We adore the church-y vocals of Kelly Price and think that she, along with folks like Faith Evans, have been critically underrated since the moment she hit the scene. The new album is filled with great grooves and tunes that allow Kelly to show off her huge vocal talents.

In other returns, Stevie Nicks is back with a new album titled "In Your Dreams," which is probably what she said when Taylor Swift asked if she ever wanted to sing back-up for her again. Below, "Cheaper Than Free," a song obviously written about some of the people we've dated.

The legends are all trying to make a return this week as Beastie Boys also have a new album out titled "Hot Sauce Committee Part 2." Below, Beastie Boys team up with Santogold on the track "Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win."

We end the Mixtape with the Queen of Beige, Colbie Caillat and her new album "All of You." Colbie Caillat's music/persona exists to make Natasha Bedingfield look like a daring and risk-taking artist in comparison.

And on that extremely vanilla note, we end today's Mixtape. As always, we wish you love, peace and downloads. NOW BRING US SOME MORE KELLY PRICE.

The Heathers of "RuPaul's Drag Race" totally approve.