Hey y'all! We've survived skidamarinking elephants, Zeke the Plumber, the odd speaking cadence of Marc Summers, and the various insults of one Helga Pataki to make it to today, the final edition of Nick of Time where we take on our favorite thing to ever come from the majesty of 1990s Nickelodeon programming:
So let's not waste space and get right to it. Before Miley Cryus couldn't be tamed because she was too busy worrying about the climb and seeing you again, before Hilary Duff was a teenage superstar turned twenty-something C-lister and before Carrie Bradshaw was showing off her inability to dress like a normal human being on Sex and the City, there was the one, the only, the Clarissa.
(Side note: Clarissa looks a straight-up hooker-y mess in that early 1990s nightmare of colored tights)
How could you not love Clarissa, who survived a tofu loving mother, a ginger asshole younger brother, a best friend who had no problem climbing into her window and a father who was capable of doing the following:
Bonus: the opening credits for the proposed Clarissa spin-off following her misadventures at a newspaper.
Next up, the coolest set of redhead brothers to ever grace the planet.
The Adventures of Pete and Pete is the kind of show that could have only happened on Nickelodeon and only during the 1990s with its hyper quirky nature of its characters, the college radio theme song, the overwhelming abundance of plaid. The show is still ahead of its time in a lot of ways and was a great bastion for people who felt like outsiders in their own lives because pretty the whole world of Pete and Pete was populated with outsiders and misfits in one degree or another.
The great debate: who was the most awesome 1990s crush, Ellen from Pete and Pete or Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years. We post, YOU DECIDE.
Next up, you better get your flashlight and make sure that all your windows are locked.
The only thing more terrifying than the show were the post-show career prospects of most of the actors.
COMMERCIAL BREAK!
So if you were a kid in the 1990s, there were many super powers you probably wanted to have. The ability to listen to Nirvana at will. The ability not to get a Pop Rocks candy stuck in your tooth and it explode later. And of course, the ability to morph Alex Mack style.
Next up, the greatest theme ever to grace Nickelodeon. Ever.
All That had a variety of amazing, stunning, flawless characters that we can't even work up the nerve to snark on it. We're just going to post some of our favorites:
Vital Information For Your Everyday Life
Cooking with Randy and Mandy
The Inconvenience Store (Kenan beginning his long. illustrious career of having to be in drag on a sketch comedy show)
Good Burger
Ask Ashley
Everyday French With Pierre Escargot
And with that we wrap up our week long tribute to the magic of Nickelodeon programming! The only thing left is to reprise the theme song and roll the credits.
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