In our first cup of tea, it turns out it was Rep. Weiner's wiener in the photo as the embattled NY congressman held a press conference yesterday to announce what everybody in the world had already come to obvious conclusion of already: he had sent that photo of his boxers-clad lower half to a follower on Twitter. In a truly amazeball press conference, Rep. Weiner also let everybody know that he had also had several online relationships before and after he got married. In an interesting move, Rep. Weiner also let everybody know that he wasn't going to resign from office, in spite of his lying to the press and pretty much turning himself into a national embarrassment. Apparently, you just can't keep a good Weiner down.
In other news, "Twilight" and "Thirteen" star Nikki Reed is engaged to "American Idol" reject Paul McDonald after knowing him all of five seconds. No seriously, these two met in March at the premiere of "Little Red Riding Hood." Now, according to "People Magazine," the duo are buying a house together (and by duo we're clearly meaning Nikki Reed by herself) as Paul allegedly preps a Nicki Reed EP in her honor. This is reaching the level of second hand embarrassment not seen since Jennifer Lopez wrote that song "Dear Ben" during the height of Bennifer. According to Reed, she adores how low-key Mr. McDonald is, purchasing her a $10 necklace from a vintage store. Girl, fishing something out of a bin at Goodwill is not in fact buying something from a vintage store but whatever. We wish both of them the best of luck as they try to milk this relationship for the most amount of press either one of them have gotten in the longest time. TAKE THAT KRISTIN STEWART.
And that's our tea for today. Now check yourself in the mirror and twirl yourself into the rest of the mixtape!
Oh summer songs, how we love thee. You're usually mindless fluff made for us to booty pop in our swim trunks and frankly, that's all we need while trying not to completely melt underneath the hole in the ozone layer. Like every summer, the music industry is inundating the radio airwaves with songs they hope don't just become huge hits but become anthems for the summer. Last year, Katy Perry ruled the airwaves with Snoop Dogg with their Tik Tok-tastic ode to the ladies from West Coast aka "California Gurls." A year later, Ms. Perry is dominating radio airplay with her single "E.T." and set to try to make another run at chart domination with her single "Last Friday Night." But there are countless others waiting in wings, ready to snatch the fireworks-shooting bra off the singer and make their own bid for song of the summer. So let us look at some of the tunes that may or may not be getting stuck in your head in the next few weeks.
First up, Chris Martin apparently got sick of having to hear his wife Gwyneth sing all the damn time and reunited with the boys of Coldplay to put out their new single, the incredibly emo-titled "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall."
We'll give the boys of Coldplay credit for sampling, of all things in the world, Peter Allen's tune "I Go to Rio" for this single. Below Hugh Jackman, yes THAT Hugh Jackman, performs the song as part of the closing number of "The Boy From Oz," the musical about Peter Allen's life.
We have a love/hate relationship with Coldplay in that we initially usually start out loving their songs until it turns to hate when the radio stations and advertisements abuse them to death (looking at you "Viva La Vida" and "Speed of Sound" and especially side-eyeing you the hardest "Clocks"). There is always a level of blandness to their music that, at this point, has become sort of comfortable familiarity with them. What they do, they do very well and don't really try to go out of the bounds of that. And you have to admire that commitment to a particular sound.
Another British artist releasing a single is Nicola Roberts of Girls Aloud. While Cheryl Cole is busily not working on "The X-Factor" on either side of the pond and fellow Girls Aloud member Nadine wonders how her solo career went nowhere fast, the ginger member of Girls Aloud has decided to come out swinging with a hot dance track in the form of "Beat of My Drum."
Is some of Nicola's attempts at dancing cringe-worthy? Absolutely. And has she yet to quite adjust to her new veneers? Not really. But other than that, "Beat of My Drum" is a pretty fabulous slice of dance pop that doesn't rely heavily on Autotune and has the perfect "Oh Mickey" type of chorus that will have people drunkenly shouting along in the pubs. Not one to rest on her laurels, the b-side of "Beat of My Drum" is an equally fabulous tune titled "Porcelain Heart."
Slaying your favorites with a B-side.
Across the pond, Beyonce is desperately trying to avoid coming down with a case of the Christina Aguilera. What is that you say? Beyonce's current era for her promo for her album "4" has been almost as dishearteningly messy as when Christina Aguilera was putting out "Bionic" last summer. Both artists exalted the type of music they were putting on the album. Both artists put out questionable first singles with Christina Aguilera's "Not Myself Tonight" being a horrendous mash-up of Lady GaGa/Madonna theatrics that went nowhere fast while Beyonce put out "Who Run the World (Girls)" to the delight of pretty much no one. Seriously, we love Diplo/Major Lazor but for Beyonce to build a whole comeback single around a dance track that was a hit just a scant few years ago is the kind of idea that gives, in the words of Emerson Cod, bad ideas the will to live.
Despite high energy performances on both the Billboard Music Awards AND Oprah, the single has completely stalled. Beyonce has now decided to put out the tune "The Best Thing I Never Had."
While "Who Run the World" was an attempt at being edgy, "The Best Thing I Never Had" is so safe you could wrap your valuables in it. Not that being a totally safe single is not surprising at this junction. We're sure it'll be dominating the radio stations this summer as the song comes off like a 1980s power ballad sequel to "Irreplaceable." We still maintain that the best single Beyonce ever put out was the song "Why Don't You Love Me."
Hot Topic favorite Paramore is back with a brand new song for the "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" soundtrack called "Monster."
This is the first track from the band since the departure of members Josh and Zac Farro and much speculation has been made about the content of "Monster" as it seemingly throws shade at their direction. The Farros and Paramore had a contentious end of 2010 as everybody seemed to be mad at each other, particularly Farros angry about lead singer Hailey Williams overall dominance over the band and the tiny little detail that she is in fact the only person within Paramore that's actually signed to Atlantic Records. Whoops. Anyway, Paramore is back, doing what it does best, which is making music for people with asymmetrical bangs of earnestness.
In other new releases, Joe Jonas is trying to become the Justin Timberlake of the Jonas Brothers by launching a solo career with his new single "See No More" with Chris Brown. Below, an official lyric music video for the tune.
At best, this song likes a poor man's Jesse McCartney, which is either huge praise and big ass slap across the face depending on how one looks at it. If the teaser that Joe Jonas put out is any indication, his solo career is going to inspire a multitude of side-eyes.
The second coming of Michael Jackson right here.
In other new releases, Robyn has put out a video for her spectacular song "Call Your Girlfriend" from her "Body Talk" album, an album that ruled our summer of '10.
Robyn's music>>>>>>>>your whole existence.
Finally, Bjork has released a teaser for her upcoming single "Crystalline."
Even in the shit quality we're hearing it, we're already excited for it and a new album from the singer. While we wait for her new single, we think back to one of our favorite tracks of Ms. Bjork, the tune "Triumph of a Heart" from her album "Medulla."
And that's it for this edition of the Majak Mixtape. As always, we wish you love, peace and downloads. NOW WATCH JOE JONAS PUT A RING ON IT.
No comments:
Post a Comment