Look at Your Year, Look at Your Choices: The 2010 Yearbook

Happy New Year's Eve, how you ~durrin~ everybody? We hope you're ready for one last stunning, flawless, amazing, most likely to snatch the wig off your favorite edition of "Look at Your Year, Look at Your Choices," the Majak Kingdom's pithy take on all things 2010. Already this week we've delved knee deep into some of the biggest scandals of 2010, taken on some of the biggest flops to land with a resounding thud this year, organized our own political rally in honor of the cray cray year of politics in 2010 and yesterday we found ourselves taking on all of the guilty pleasure shows we secretly DV-R and tunes we jam out to in our car. Whew, this blogger is TIRED but if you thought we had run out of things to bitch about this year, you are sadly mistaken.

Today we're listing some of the things that made us go TOTES FAVE, the things that made us scream OH HELL NAY, the events/places/things that got SIDE EYES of epic proportions and all of the I CAN'T EVEN moments you can post a YouTube rant about as we've created our own yearbook for the 2010. Who was the class clown of 2010?  Who had the worst case of Senioritis?

Put on your party hat and pop that bottle of cheap ass sparkling wine you got from Kwik Trip as we break it down one more time for you.

Look at Your Year, Look at Your Choices: It Gets Guilty Pleasured



Hey everybody. Before we get down to business, can we get a Wendy Williams "HOW YOU DOIN?"

Well hello and welcome to our blog for another stunning, flawless, amazing, side-eyeing your favorite edition of "Look at Your Year, Look at Your Choices," the Majak Kingdom's look back at all the high, lows and hot ass messes that made up the year that was 2010. On Monday, we spilled enough tea to fill the Gulf Coast when discussed a year's worth of scandals of Lohan in lockdown, Cyrus on salvia, and Gibson off his rocker; on Tuesday, we were snatching wigs of stars as we dished about all the disappointments of the year including Floptina Aguilera and Jake Gyllenfail; yesterday, we delved into all the ballots, battles and flat-out bitchfests that comprised this year in politics. We hear that "The Real Housewives of DC" Michaele Salahi was so disappointed at not being mentioned yesterday that she and her husband Tareq tried to gatecrash into this post like they did at the White House this season on their boring-ass show. Thankfully, we've got security.

Anyway, today we're turning our attention to all things guilty pleasure. Oh guilty pleasures, how we love thee. You never pretend to be spiritually fulfilling or intellectually enlightening. That's PBS's job when it's not in the middle of one of their umpteenth telethons. No, instead you are magically superficial and splendidly tacky in all ways. People may shake their head at you, may act like they are too good for you and will often times look down on others but deep down inside, even the biggest Pablo Neruda quoting hipster douche has watched an episode of "iCarly" and liked it in a non-ironic way. I mean, "spaghetti tacos" don't become a trending topic AND New York Times articles just off the postings of tweens on their iPhones.

So let us raise a toast in honor of the reality shows with vacuous personalities, to the pop songs sung by people with no idea of pitch or tone, to the YouTube stars that are making bank without the benefit of good lighting, and all the other pop culture things we're ashamed to admit to having enjoyed this year. Here's a post for you to come out and say, "I LOVE THE WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE" and be accepted.

Sit back and relax because you're about to get guilty pleasured. Isn't that right, dude from "Big Time Rush"?

Exactly.

Look at Your Life, Look at Your Choices - Ain't No Party Like a Politcal Party

What is the what what, y'all?! We're back with another stunning, flawless, amazing, stuffing the ballot box better than your favorite, edition of "Look at Your Life, Look at Your Choices," the Majak Kingdom's look back at all things fabulously and disastrously 2010. On Monday, we took on a bevy of scandals that kept the blogs busy and the attorneys busier as stars couldn't seem to keep their privates off of Twitter, their asses out of rehab and their names out of the tabloids, much to our delight and their publicists' dismay. On Tuesday we went after just a small smidgen of all the flops that populated 2010 as flopping became the hottest trend since leggings as pants, neither of which are actually a cute or desirable look.

Today, we're taking on the cray cray that Washington D.C. politics had to offer up this year. It was like an Old Country Buffet of b.s. as the right, left and center waged wars about the BP Oil Spill, health care reform, Don't Ask/Don't Tell, and tax cuts all while everybody was scrambling to stay in their political office with the impending mid-term elections. It's been a year of candidates thinking it was a good idea to reassure people they are not a witch in their political ads, of rallies for both sanity and fear, the solidification of Tea Party movement, the fracturing of the American political system and, most importantly, the Palin family making a move into reality television.

So much political craziness, so little time. So let us get to it!

Look at Your Life, Look at Your Choices: Flopbusters

Irish poet and critic Edward Dowden once wrote, "A noble failure serves the world as faithfully as a distinguished success." We're pretty sure this has been stitched on some pillows and given out to a whole host of celebrities this year as flopping hard was one of the biggest trends of the year. From mega bomb films that failed to launch franchises to musical comebacks that were met by the listening public saying, "Go back where you came from," to shows that people didn't even want to Hulu when they were bored, the entertainment year was just a big dumping ground of fail in a lot of ways as newcomers became never-weres and superstars quickly found themselves knock, knock, knocking on has-been's doors.

Some rose above all the obstacles and managed to triumph. And we find that really thrilling and wonderful and excruciatingly boring to comment on.

So let us look back at a year of failures because even though they flopped hard, they still made more money than any of us did.

Look at Your Year, Look at Your Choices: Posts On a Scandal

Well, well, well, end of the year, we meet again, now don't we? Time sure flies when you're trying to figure out the ending to "Inception," donate money to the Gulf Oil spill clean-up and the Haiti Earthquake while disavowing all knowledge of the "We Are the World" remake, avoid sitting behind Lady GaGa and her meat dress at an awards show, wonder when Will.I.Am will be banned from making music, declare yourself not a witch in your political ad, hide your wives/kids/husbands, watch a double feature of "The Lost Boys" and "License to Drive" in memoriam of Corey Haim, make your own "It Gets Better" video, DV-R every single episode of this final season of "Oprah," try to land yourself a reality show based in New Jersey, question why you'd cast Michael Cera/Megan Fox/Jennifer Aniston in anything at this point, do the dougie like a G6, ask and tell and start your own unofficial Betty White Fan Club.

It's been a cray cray kind of year filled with disasters, both of the natural and of the Christina Aguilera's "Bionic" album variety, celebrity break-ups, the solidification of the Tea Party movement, the dominance of dance music on the pop charts, a depressed housing market, a "Glee"-ful television landscape, the exit of Simon Cowell from "American Idol" all while reading Stieg Larsson and WikiLeaks.

We here at the Majak Kingdom think it's never too early to become nostalgic about things so we're looking back at all the highs and lows of 2010 in our week-long feature "Look at Your Year, Look at Your Choices," where we remember the year because you were too busy being in a Loco-induced alcoholic coma to remember any of it.

We kick it off today with a tribute to a year's worth of headline-grabbing, tabloids-selling, Perez Hilton posted gossip that dominated the year as stars lost control of their minds, their bodies and often times their Twitter accounts. We're tackling nude photo leaks, shocking celeb break-ups, not-so-shocking celeb stints in rehab/jail, the outing of celebs, and all the feuds that were worthy to be detailed on a daily basis in "Page Six."

So stop e-mailing pictures of your junk to people (LOOKING AT YOU FAVRE AND KANYE) or accidentally posting photos of your boobs (YOU'RE NOT AN EXCEPTION HAILEY WILLIAMS OF PARAMORE) or giving campaign contributions while being a news correspondent (LOOKING AT YOU KEITH OLBERMANN) and instead enjoy the scandals below