Last week on Glee, it was a rerun.
The week before though: Glee remembered a whole host of storylines for once, Finn finally called out Kurt for being a creeper, Artie slut-shamed Brittany for taking his virginity, Santana talked about scissoring, Sam still looks like a poor man's Justin from Queer as Folk, Mr. Schue made it yet another week without rapping, Santana and Mercedes were robbed of a duets win, and Kurt and Rachel's duet of "Get Happy/Happy Days Are Here Again" was made of win.
This week: It's the big Rocky Horror Show extravaganza!
Ladies grab your axes. Fellas find your garters. Parents Television Council write your letters of protest. And everybody give yourself over to absolute Glee pleasure.
Come. We are ready for the recap. Our readers will be growing restless.
So how does it exactly come to be that a high school would be putting on The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Because Mr. Shue still has a boner for Emma.
Pretty much, just photocopy the plotline from Britney Spears episode and insert here folks because this show's ability to get characters to grow within an episode and then suddenly revert to the exact same way next week. Who needs character development when you have iTune sales!?
Will, of course, never one to know the boundaries between good teaching and his bad personal life, enlists Emma to help with the costumes in order to get closer to her lovely OCD ass. Shirtless Will is not exactly a bad thing.......until you realize that his bright momentary idea of getting close to Emma by singing Touch-a-Touch-a-Touch-a-Me and casting himself as Rocky means he would have to do that same number. On stage. With a teenager.
Also here are his fantastic ideas of cleaning up the show for the high school production:
Elsewhere, Sam apparently has an eating disorder of sorts? Pretty much?
This comes out because Finn is suddenly feeling bad about himself and his physique since he'd have to take his shirt off. He feels like a fatty next to Sam, and Sam, apparently bolstered by being in the Glee club and banging teen mom Quinn, is flaunting is his hotness all over the place while Rachel, who people on the show continue not to mention how emaciated she's become
(We are thinking that Lea kept that lollipop as her "thinspiration")
She tries to make Finn realize how hot he is. Finn eventually got over his this-episode-only issue. Or he didn't. We can't remember, and we're pretty the Glee writers won't either.
Anyway, he bared his chest, and there was much rejoicing among the land. Only Glee could combine Rocky Horror Picture, an After School Special AND unrepentant exploitation all within one B-storyline.
Random note: So Quinn and Santana are back to being scissor sisters? Maybe.
We know Finn. We're confused too about why we expect any sense of continuity on this show.
But they are surprisingly being consistent with one thing so far this season: Artie being an asshole
Below Rihanna expresses some people's opinion about Mercedes taking on the role of Frank-N-Furter.
We love you. We love big girls. Precious is one of our favorite movies. But come on now. Your vocals were actually fabulous, in a church-y sort of way.
But it's hard to compete with this:The only person who we think could've come close is this GQMF in juvenile hall.
Overall we loved almost all of the Rocky Horror numbers done within the show. Santana rocked "Science Fiction/Double Feature"
while John Stamos made us shout out an Uncle Jesse "Have Mercy!" during his Eddie number.
Also, adored Barry Bostwick and Meatloaf stopping by for a little cameo with apparently the master pumpkin carver that is Sue Sylvester.
The episode ended with lessons being learned, Sue Sylvester being thwarted like the cartoon villainess she is, songs being lipsynced, and Mr. Schue continuing to be the biggest creepy d-bag in his love triangle with Emma and Dentist Carl.
"If I really love you, I need to back off and accept that, at least for now, being with him is the best thing for you."
Way to sound like the creepy d-bag you are, Mr. Schue.
Glee's a rerun next week but we'll be here, recapping the highs and lows of the season so far. We leave you with the cast doing the TIme Warp.
And remember, don't dream it. Glee it.