Oh Chilean miners, how are you doing? After some 70 days trapped together, all 33 of you have been rescued which makes for an actually heartwarming ending to this whole debacle. So how could we, the cynical bastards, find something to snark about the conquering of the human spirit over devastating adversity? Easily, my loves, easily. When the miners were rescued one miner, Barrios Rojas, had his personal business splashed across the newspapers when both his wife of 28 years AND his mistress of four years ended up at Camp Hope waiting for his rescue. When he emerged, he was greeted by his mistress not his wife who, after getting into a spat with said mistress, had decided to leave Camp Hope and most likely headed off to the nearby Camp Bust Windows Out Your Car.
So today we honor this telenovela-esque drama with its own mix in a mixtape we're dubbing "The Trapped and The Tacky."
First up is Henry Mancini's "Nadia's Theme"
Come on now, how could we NOT lead off a mixtape without this? It was one of the first songs we ever learned how to play on the piano after chopsticks and before "Send in the Clowns" so it has the nostalgia factor for us as well as being the theme song from one of the best soaps ever put on air, The Young and the Restless.
Bonus, our favorite opening credits for any soap opera, day or night:
Spraying oil, flowing champagne bottles, skyscrapers, the Dynasty is basically a bunch of Freudian phallic images put to strings. And we're okay with that.
Next up, an amazing reworking of Mad Men's theme song with the Nat King Cole classic "Nature Boy"
Having your wife and your mistress meet while you're trapped in a mindshaft is something not even notorious womanizer Don Draper could probably get out of, even with his ability to lie at the drop of a hat and his general happy hour sheen.
Bonus points for Brian Williams being so flawless as a human being that even his daughter, who is the singer in the video, is fabulous.
Next we have Elaine Paige and Barbara Dickinson singing "I Know Him So Well"
From the musical Chess, we just imagine this scene playing out in Spanish at Camp Hope between wife and mistress shortly before wife departed the scene. At least if there is a God with a good theatre background.
Lastly we end with Whitney Houston's "Saving All My Love For You" because you know that miner and his mistress were hitting it, flipping it and reversing it as soon as they were out of CNN and Telemundo camera range.