Congratulations, if you are reading this, you have not slipped into a diabetic coma from yesterday's sugary edition of "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Lee."
We've gotten to one of our favorite subject matters when it comes to Sandra and that's her love of cakes, cakes mainly merely being the vehicle to deliver icing. Fundamentally, we are all about this philosophy but our addiction to canned frosting and boxed cake mix doesn't qualify us for a cooking show on the Food Network, either.
No matter, we now embark on the magical journey through Sandra Lee's various wonderful cake-ups. You've been warned.First up Sandra Lee makes a Pecan Cinnamon Angel Food Cake
Poor innocent Angel Food Cake. Sandra Lee has abused the AFC numerous times during the run of Semi-Homemade because merely serving a slice with some fresh berries and whipped cream has never crossed her alcohol-addled mind.
When she whips together the pecan cinnamon mixture with the cream cheese and bits of the AFC, it looks most definitely like tuna fish and probably tastes like misery.
Next up Sandra Lee makes a No-Bake Love Cake
We love this simply because clearly Sandra Lee has no idea of the concept of "no bake." The fact that she bought some cakes from the store as well as cookies does not in fact make it a no bake cake. Confusing as this may be Sandra, someone actually, you know, baked that cake.
The next slice of cake is a May Day Centerpiece Cake
Classic moment of Sandra Lee continuity:
"I baked these at home with a plain vanilla cake mix"
Five seconds later . . .
"These are lemon cakes, so I really wanted something that had depth of flavor."
Sandra Lee, the Ed Wood of cooking programs.
So many questions: who throws a party just for May Day? Who assembles a cake at the picnic? Who puts on edible flowers on a cake for kids? Oh that's right, Sandra "June Cleavage" Lee. And we don't think it's a coincidence that Sandra has a cake that shares its name with what people yell in distress.
Lastly, Sandra Lee and the monstrosity that is her Noel Cake.
From the magical cupcakes that can be purchased uniced from the store to the mountains and mountains of icing the color of toothpaste to inherently unstable nature of the construction of the cake and the struggle of Sandra's forehead to emote, all we can say is:
We leave you with a bonus, Sandra Lee as Cher.