Gleecap - Wedding Glee Blues

Last week on Glee: Sue Sylvester used biological warfare to get herself installed as Principal of McKinley and swiftly got rid of tater tots because she knows not the power of tater tot casserole clearly; the Great Tots Offensive caused a defensive move by Mercedes who stuck a bunch of tots in Sylvester's tailpipe because, according to in love Kurt, Mercedes is eating her feelings because she's single; single Mr. Schue got sick due to Ms. Sylvester and fucked batshit crazy ex-wife Teri while bonding with guest star Gwyneth Paltrow. who was all about fun with students because she's devoid of any concept of adult responsibility which makes her pretty much ideal for our little McKinley High; oh also, Kurt got a death threat from his bully. Songs were sung, baby versions of the Gleeks were trotted out and Fred Astaire rolled in his grave. And that's what happened last week on Glee.

This week on Glee: Fists are thrown, bouquets are tossed, scores of dropped storylines get referenced and alliances are reinforced as the Burt and Carole get married, Sue decides the greatest love of her all is inside of her as she gets married to herself with the aid of guest star Carol Burnett, and Kurt's bullying storyline comes to a climax.

Do you want for me to get on with the Gleecap?

So we kinda/sorta actually loved this episode, at least for a season 2 episode. I know, crazy? In spite of the fact that the bulk of Finn's storyline was copy and pasted from last season's Theatricality and the Glee club manages to go yet ANOTHER week without getting its proverbial shit together when it comes to Sectionals. Though last year they managed to decide on a whole new set list and practice WHILE SECTIONALSWAS GOING ON, so who knows what the magical Glee kids will do this year.

Anyway, we kick off the episode with Burt and Carole appearing at McKinley High so Burt can propose marriage to Carole because a heart attack really makes a man contemplate putting a ring on it. Kurt is enthused as he has been waiting to plan a wedding since, you know, insemination while Finn is a bit shock as things continue to be sprung on him because nothing a teenage boy loves more than complete and total upheaval of their whole world.

 Elsewhere, one Sue Sylvester is disheartened that her former cheating boyfriend and anchor is now shacking up with his co-anchor so she decides to do what any rational woman who has watched both Lifetime and Sex and the City: she decides to marry herself. This naturally brings her Nazi-hunting mother played Carol Burnett into the episode which hopefully means there is going to be a crossover between Glee and Desperate Housewives since Carol Burnett is also Bree Van De Camp's stepmother. Can you just imagine Sue on Wisteria Lane? The insults to Susan would be gold.

Anyway, we continue along with the Sam/Quinn relationship which is about as romantic as a love pairing in an Edith Wharton novel as you basically have two social climbers of golden hair hooking up to solidify their positions of power. It's oddly one of the more adult things about this show in a totally sociopathetic way that is the adult mating game.

The horror movie storyline that is Karofsky and Kurt continued to get creepier and creepier by leaps and bounds as Karofsky continues to be flirting maybe with Kurt by way of assault and intimidation like the future NFL player that he is.
Adult intervention finally starts to surface as Mr. Schue gets Kurt in front of Principal Sylvester for a little talk-talk and surprisingly Sylvester proves that a broken, tracksuited clock can actually tell time correctly twice a day as she momentarily becomes a decent human being within the constraints of the Kurt storyline. We're going to say that the pressure of having to be bride AND groom temporarily shorted out Sylvester's evil streak as planning the wedding and singing with your absentee mama can really take a toll on a person's dark heart.

Back in the main storyline that is the only one that the writers seem to care about this season, the boys decide to stand-up, after some prodding by their girlfriends, to Karofsky because suddenly people care about Kurt and his pain and he's no longer alone unlike the past ten million episodes of this storyline. Whatever, show.

Puck would've helped out, but he's still on probation. And probably also too concerned with promoting a really shitty album.

Up next, the Mary Sue Fest that is Burt and Carol's wedding as yet ANOTHER show decides to do the dancing-down-the-aisle thing.

We fully admit that we loved every cheesy second of this during the initial airing but quickly came to the realization what a freaking Mary Sue of a character Kurt is, especially this season. What is a Mary Sue you may ask. As defined by that ever reliable source Wikipedia, a "Mary Sue" character is "is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader." Oh hello Kurt and Glee creator Ryan, does this not sound just a tid bit familiar to you? Maybe?

He can't really do anything wrong in the eyes of the writers of the show. He bails on Mercedes the previous episode to be with his pseudo-boyfriend? It's totally fine because Mercedes is just totally clingy and eats her pain and needs to get some loving from one of the other half dozen minorities on campus. This week, through grit and determination, Kurt is able to pull together a whole freaking wedding and reception and has parts of the vows dedicated to him and his amazingness and even gets a song in honor of his fabulousness during the reception.

We're owning it. We had a big ole squee over this whole thing even though, as we stated above, it's just the further Mary Sue-ing of Kurt as the writers clearly trolled fan boards and truly awful slash fiction about Finn/Kurt for their moment of dancing together and insta-relationship repair. Besides, we've seen HoYay done infinitely better on Fox television shows.

In the storyline that merely existed to fill time between Kurt scenes, Sue comes to the realization that her mother is a big bad mean motherfucker not unlike the school board who overturned Sue's decision to expel Karofsky. Where this school board was when she was firing and rehiring Mr. Schue at will last week? WHO CAN SAY. And through the magic of Kurt-y Sue, Sylvester gives up her principal position because she needs her own office.

And just when you think this show will end on something resembling a happy note, Kurt decides to go to Dalton because he's justifiably terrified of Karofsky in spite of the group willing to rally behind the Kurtster because when hasn't this show done a storyline that doesn't take headshakingly abrupt turns. AND SCENE.

SO here's the thing about the bullying storyline. It sucks. It just does. There is no other way around that opinion because it sucks in such macro and micro ways. Flawed from inception because this show was, at one time, a dark comedy that had a character visualizing running over a postal worker to keep from pre-mature ejaculating and used bullying moments like slushies being thrown or Kurt saying that his jacket was Marc Jacobs and the bullies politely letting him take it off before throwing him in a dumpster; that universe is completely different from the current one which still finds bullying to be hilarious as long as it isn't targeted at gay people (read: Kurt).

The fact that characters' personalities have to be bend and stretch like Brittany on a date with the football team  in order to make the storyline work is a huge knock against the writers as they clearly have no plans whatsoever for this show. Kurt has to use his parents' honeymoon money in order to pay for Dalton, but he somehow is able to always be dressed in fancy clothes and bought a luxury truck last year because, you know, his father OWNS his business. But detail, details. Also, you have to love the combined parenting of Burt and Carol who can go, "So, Kurt, we're going to pull you out of school and send you off to Gay Hogwarts. Finn, you've been harassed by the same dude and most likely he'll probably take his frustrations out on you when he comes back so we're going to do absolutely nothing because THAT'S GOOD PARENTING."

And we've said it once and we will shout it from the rooftops, WHY HAS NOBODY MENTIONED RACHEL'S TWO GAY DADS AT ALL DURING THIS STORYLINE? I mean, come on now. You'd think Ryan Murphy, who hasn't met a bit of stunt casting he didn't enjoy, would be all over getting two celebs on to play her two daddies. But that would be logical and Glee is too busy getting Katie Couric for a cameo for their Super Bowl episode and allegedly hiring TWO more cast members because I know when I look at the show, I think that the cast just isn't bloated enough.

But wherever it goes, we'll be there. Gleecapping the living crap out of it as next week we deal with Sectionals.

We leave you now with Mr. Schue singing something appropriate for once.

Gleek strong, my lovelies, gleek strong. 

1 comment:

Missy said...

I love this! I am a big fan of Glee, but you have soooo many vaild points. Truth be told...I have the hots for Mr. Schue.