Happy Monday Mixtapers. Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, giving you start of the week realness better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes when it calls in sick from work. Today we're bringing another edition of the "Live On Tape," our guide to where you can find some hot musical acts on TV this week. But before we get to the musical acts, let us get to the tea!
In the first bit of tea, former Fugees member and brief wannabe Haitian presidential candidate Wyclef Jean can now add "gun violence victim" to his resume as he was shot over the weekend while in Haiti.. According to his publicist, it was a superficial wound to his hand. Ever the helpful victim, Jean has reportedly refused to cooperate with the police into the investigation into his own shooting. You have to hand it to Wyclef. He's already withdrawn his bid to run for President, but he's still on the campaign trail, trying to get the vote from even people who shoot him. That's commitment folks.
First Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene split, now Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger? Those beard contracts must all be expiring at the same time. TOTALLY KIDDING COOPER LEGAL TEAM. According to US Magazine, Bradley and Renee have split just shy of being together for two years. The duo met on the set of the film "Case 39," their relationship roughly lasting as long as it took for that shitfest to be released to theaters.
In other news, TMZ has learned that Britney Spears' people are making sure that her back-up dancers are only high on jazz hands when working on her music videos. Under the contract, dancers may have to submit to random drug tests and can be fired for failing or refusing to take one. Lord knows we wouldn't want Britney's current brilliant array of hand dancing and hair flipping moves to be dulled in the least by the power of illicit chemicals.
And that my Mixtapers is the tea! Continue reading to get your talk show on! If you don't . . .
Hey Mixtapers, thanks for continuing reading. Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing edition of Live on Tape, where we let you know the who/what/where of music acts appearing on TV so you won't have to suffer through Jay Leno's monologues in vain.
MONDAY
First up, David Letterman will welcome the energetic force of the British Sea Power, the one kind of power that does not cause nuclear meltdowns.
Over on Carson Daly, he will have the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, a name CLEARLY stolen from the gang when we were kids. Well, we were a gang until sun down and then we had to unclip the playing cards from the wheels of our bikes and go home.
Jay Leno will have the soulful sounds of Raphael Saadiq. Raphael just join the ten million other artists that have may have retro soul albums, music perfect for sitting in the back of a bus.
For those unfamiliar with Raphael Saadiq, you may know him from his days with Tony, Toni, Tone
Or Lucy Pearl
George Lopez will have 30 Seconds to Mars otherwise known as the outlet for Jared Leto's unending adolescence.
TUESDAY
David Letterman will have The Pains of Being Pure at Heart. We're starting our own band called The Joys of Being Pain in the Ass.
Jay Leno will have on IS HER FIFTEEN MINUTES OVER YET Internet Meme Rebecca Black as an interview and Duran Duran as the musical guest. Duran Duran is celebrating the 30th anniversary of when their first album "Planet Earth" first hit the scene.
Jimmy Kimmel will welcome Gaslight Anthem.
Conan will have Teddy Thompson who is one like within grasps of being one of the rare examples of ginger sexy. And then he makes the crazy stalker eyes and things are all correct in the world.
WEDNESDAY
David Letterman will have The Strokes to promote their new album "Angles."
Jimmy Fallon will have Friendly Fires. You know Friendly Fires is probably one of the first bands on an ironic hipster's anti-war playlist.
Jay Leno will have Keith Urban, the man who has never met a hair on his head that he didn't think needed to be flat ironed to perfection. If only Scarlett Johansson suffered from the same condition.
THURSDAY
Jay Leno will have Peter, Bjorn and John, our second favorite PB&J.
Jimmy Kimmel will have Oh Land on.
Conan rerun will feature Wanda Jackson
FRIDAY
Jimmy Fallon will welcome Cut Copy
Jay Leno will have Jennifer Hudson as both an interview as well as a music guest. We've got the mute button ready for when she wants to bust out singing FEEEEEEEEEELIN GOOOOOOOOOD.
And those are just a few of the musical acts performing for their lives and their album sales this week on TV. As always, we wish you love, peace and downloads. BRING ON THE DANCERS!
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