What is the what what, y'all! It's Tuesday and you know what that means? Another stunning, flawless, amazing, caterwauling better than your favorite, edition of New Tunes Tuesday. With Christmas just a scant few days away, the record industry continues to churn out albums in hopes of getting you to separate yourself from your hard earned funds. And we here at the Mixtape are here to help you sift through the good, the bad and the basic when it comes to new music.
Which before we get onto new music this week, can we just talk about the hot mess that has become Ciara's career? We touched upon this in last week's New Tunes Tuesday with the release of Ciara's fourth album "Basic Instinct." With sales of her album predicted to be somewhere in the truly abysmal range of 35,000 to 40,000 in its first week of sales, Ciara recently was interviewed by the Associated Press about her career and the importance of album sales which caused Ciara to give this hilariously delusional quotes:
AP: With your previous album not selling well, are you concerned about what type of numbers you put up for "Basic Instinct"?
Ciara: Selling records are becoming smaller fraction of branding and building a long-lasting career. You can sell a lot of records, but can you tour. You can sell records, but where does it go beyond that? That's a part of building a brand for yourself.
AP: So at this point of your career, going on tour has bigger precedence over album sales?
Ciara: Absolutely. If you can walk away from your career and are successful touring, you'll always be straight. Artists like Madonna have been doing it for years. She may put out one single, do a tour and gross over $200 million.
Yes, touring is where the bulk of artists make their money now, especially with lower album sales and people not writing a lot of their own material. But gurl, let's be honest. With the way you're going, you're going to be an opening act AT BEST and one needs hits for people to come to your concerts.
We will give Ciara credit for owning up to the fact that accusations by bloggers saying that she has gone Hollywood aren't necessarily untrue as she admits in the Associated Press interview she wants to make some of that "Hollywood money." Given the precarious position of her career, we assume "Hollywood money" is going to end up some corner on the Sunset Strip.
And coinciding with her admittance of having allegedly "gone Hollywood," which is always just code for urban bloggers who act like not acting fresh out the projects is somehow abandoning your values which SIDE-EYE to all of that, Ciara has said that she may be helping Kim Kardashian launch a music career of sorts. Because, you know, her own career is so stable right now that she can just dole out advice to everybody? Maybe? Anyway, Kim Kardashian's inevitable foray into pop star land, because who doesn't have at least a single out in order to do a few episodes of their reality show around, continues to prove how Kardashian is the more basic version of Paris Hilton. And to the few fans who think Kim Kardashian is a better, stronger version of Paris, we just have to say:
But enough talking about these tired heffas and let us move onto this week's edition of New Music Tuesday!
Up first, Jamie Foxx tries to ride on the last remaining fumes of Ray Charles and gleeful endorsements of heavy alcohol consumption by putting out a brand new album called "Best Night of My Life." Below, Drake tries to off-set the inherent jankness of Jamie Foxx with their joint single "Fall For Your Type."
Does anybody remember that time when Jamie Foxx wasn't annoying? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller? It was right at the beginning of the juggernaut that would become "Ray," when Jamie Foxx still seemed sort of humbled at being taken seriously as an actor after having starred in a terrible sitcom "The Jamie Foxx Show" for years and previously being a comedic standout on "In Living Color" with characters like Wanda and his spot-on Prince and Little Richard impersonations:
Then he started winning awards and insisted on singing Ray Charles tunes every time he came up to the mic. We'll give him credit for somehow making the AutoTune-fest that was "Blame It On the Alcohol" a great tune, even if the lyrical content makes "Baby, It's Cold Outside" look damn near respectable in comparison.
We'll also give him credit for roping in the likes of T.I. and Justin Timberlake, Timberlake now restricting his whole music career to just being a feature artist. Which seriously? Who goes out of their way to make themselves into Ashanti?
Next up Keri Hilson drops her album "No Boys Allowed" this week to the delight of absolutely no one. Below, Keri Flopson performs "Pretty Girl Rock" "live" on a Pepto Bismol nightmare of a float for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade while that great bastion of musical knowledge known as Al Roker hilariously and wildly incorrectly refers to Keri as a new member of musical royalty.
Mmmm, nothing quite says female empowerment quite like talking about how much hotter you are than the girl a guy brought with him. We're sure Gloria Steinam totally rocks to this song on a daily basis.
You know, we didn't have a problem Keri Hilson back on her first album. "Knock You Down" featuring Kanye West was a great single, and we sort of adored Hilson coming for Ciara and Beyonce's lacefronts on her remix of her single "Turnin Me On." It's just that her current promo of her album just reeks of such basic level desperation to get attention. Trust us Miss Keri, it is not a cute look when you're posing in men's room urinals in a unitard.
Where have we seen this outfit before?
That's right. Way to kill two flops with one outfit stylists.
Next up Keyshia Cole has a new album out this week titled "Calling All Hearts." Below ubiquitous guest feature artist Nicki Minaj teams up with Keyshia Cole on her single "I Ain't Thru."
We don't really have strong opinions for or against Keyshia since she has her own lane of slightly bland, standard issue R&B. She knows what her core audience wants and delivers on a weekly basis. Her live performances have always been sort of suspect, like this one below from the BET Awards from a few years ago where Cole managed to get winded just from walking to the stage.
And we appreciate Keyshia Cole because without her we wouldn't have been exposed to the ungodly hot mess that is her birth mother and sister and their reality show on BET titled "Frankie and Neffe."
Lastly, Ghostface Killah has a new album called "Apollo Children." We will forever love Ghostface Killah as he was a member of Wu-Tang Clan and more importantly, at least to us, he introduced us to the magic that is Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band many years ago when he put out "Cherchez la Ghost."
The original by Dr. Buzzard, "Cherchez La Femme."
And with that, we end another stunning, flawless, amazing edition of New Tunes Tuesday. As always, we wish you love, peace and downloads. BRING ON THE DANCERS!