Greetings and salutations Mixtapers! Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, SNATCHING NEW ALBUMS FROM YOUR FAVORITES edition of the Majak Mixtape, . It's Tuesday which means it's time for another round of Tunesday, that special day of the week where we pretend the music industry isn't about to be taken behind the woodshed and shot like Old Yeller and instead make the grand assumption people still purchase albums. Today, we're dealing with all of the hoopla around Lady GaGa's latest single plus her album's artwork as well as new albums from Darren Criss and the Warblers from "Glee," Gorillaz, The Head and the Heart, Lenka and more! But, as always, time to spill the tea!
First up, a former aid of Sarah Palin is penning a tell-all boookabout the former governor of Alaska that will hopefully be more revealing than Levi Johnston's layout in "Playgirl." The book is titled "Blind Allegiance to Sarah Palin" and will come out on May 24. Come on former aid Frank Bailey, your allegiance to Sarah Palin was near-sighted at the worse as we're pretty sure somewhere through your time with her you got some mental Lasik surgery and realized what a potential goldmine a book about her would be. That's not allegiance; that's biding time until you find a literary agent.
Elsewhere, Charlie Sheen's ex-wife Brooke Mueller is back in rehab. In other shocking news, bears shit in the woods, the Pope is Catholic, and the costumes on "Dancing With the Stars" are tacky. Anyway, Brooke Mueller allegedly spent the weekend binging before checking herself into rehab. We guess that's like how we always have a big piece of pie the day before we start a diet. Except, you know, we don't snort it. Though we've been known to inhale a French Silk pie in lightning speed.
Speaking of ABC, Hoover has decided to launch a pretty genius marketing plan by using ABC's cancellation of "All My Children" and "One Life to Live" to suck up some attention. The company released a statement saying that it was pulling all of its advertising from ABC by this Friday and have set up a special e-mail account called SavetheSoaps@Hoover.com that people can e-mail to talk about how upset they are about the axing of the shows. You know what the best part of this whole thing is? The Vice President of Hoover pretty much implies this whole thing is happening because both his grandmother and his wife are totes depressed about this. Why not. People have made more money on less sound logic.
And that's the tea for today.
Now break it down and join us for Tunesday madness!
Hey Mixtapers! Thanks for continuing ready as we get ready to serve up some TUNESDAY REALNESS. We've got a lot of stuff to get to so let us not doddle about, right?
First up, Lady GaGa has been in the midst of a media blitz the past few days as she revealed the cover of her album as well as having her newest single "Judas" leak onto the Internet and then quickly rushed to the iTunes store for her little monsters to download.
Is it an utterly shameless reworking of "Bad Romance"? Pretty much. Is it better than "Born This Way"? White noise on the radio is better than "Born This Way" so this song pretty much had nowhere to go but up from that stinkfest of a single.
We'll give credit to Lady GaGa that she seems to not have completely forgotten her old self from "The Fame." While "The Fame Monster" was catchy but incredibly also a totally self-serious attempt at crafting herself as a serious artiste, "Judas" has some of "The Fame Monster" pretentiousness but has been able to marry it with "The Fame" and its pop sensibilities.
Now will GaGa go and ruin the fun by babbling one of her messages about the secret depth of the song? We wait for that with fevered anticipation since her ability to spout b.s. constantly may be the greatest artistic acheivement she'll accomplish as we, like everybody else, wonders what's the ratio of In Real Life Troll vs. Actually Believes What She Says. Only GaGa truly knows.
Anyway, while fans were grooving to "Judas," GaGa decided to unveil the cover of her album for all to see. The world promptly greeted the reveal with a resounding, "What in the actual fuck."
From the Christina Aguilera red lipstick to the whole, you know, part woman/part motorcyle thing to the MySpace LayOut Generator font, there were a lot of things for people to digest when GaGa first tweeted the album.
People came up with all sorts of theories, one of our particular favorites being that this was being done to coincide with the release of "Judas." GaGa "betrays" her fans with shitty cover art and in a few days she will rise again to bless her little monsters with the proper album cover. Some people have come out and said that Lady GaGa is just trying too hard with this era, a criticism that seems pointless at this part of her career. When hasn't Lady GaGa been the definition of try-hard? From the moment she got on the scene with her POP MUSIC WILL NEVER BE LOWBROW shtick, she's been the Exhibit A of try-hard.
The thing is with GaGa is that her theatrics are getting a wee bit stale. GaGa's been doing everything from showing up in a meat dress at awards shows and rocking gun bras and murdering folks in her music videos so this album cover is almost pedestrian. When you show up to the Grammys in an egg, you might as well set your guitar amps to 11, drag out the mini Stonehenge and embrace the "Spinal Tap" parody you've become.
(Also, the referencing of ye olde MySpace was done better by M.I.A. for her video "XXXO."
Else, "Glee" continues to ring as much money from the show as possible as Fairy Potter and the Songwarts Choir put ou their own album. That's right, Darren Criss and the Warblers have their own collection of tunes, some of them have been featured on the show like "Bills, Bills, Bills" and the ever popular "Teenage Dream." The album will also include the Warblers taking on Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy," a track exclusive to the album.
See, Blaine would totally have gotten the guy at The Gap if he had used some Rod on him instead of the Robin Thicke.
In less crassly commercial album news, The Gorillaz are back with a brand spanking new album called "The Fall." According to the press release, the album was recorded as they traveled across the United States. The album has an incredibly America vibe, not just the country but as well as the band. Album track "HillBilly Man" seems like the spiritual grandchild of "Horse With No Name"/"Ventura Highway" if America had been able to get a hold of a drum machine.
The Gorillaz even team up with rhythm and blues legend Bobby Womack on the track "Bobby in Phoenix."
Also making a return this week is Lenka. You know Lenka if you don't know her name. She, at one point in time, battled with Sara Bareilles' "Love Song" to see what could be the most cutesy, overplayed song by a female singer/songwriter as Lenka was pretty much all over the radio and TV with her song "The Show."
Three years later, Lenka is trying to see if she can strike lightening again with this album or is she going to end up another K.T. Tunstall. Who is that? EXACTLY. Anyway, the album is more of decent girl-pop music that will be all over romantic comedy trailers as Lenka sweetly sings and Katherine Heigl gets in and out of wacky shenanigans to songs like "Shock Me Into Love."
This song will end up in a makeover sequence. We're calling it now.
In other female singer/songwriter news, Nerina Pallot has got a new music video out for her new single "Put Your Hands Up."
The song is sort of eh and the video director has a case of the She and Him-itis with the styling and overall feel, but we're always going to love Nerina, simply for her awesome tune "Real Late Starter" and especially because of the Superpowerless remix.
As well as her song "I Don't Want to Go Out," a song with love and a sentiment we've almost never have.
What would these hipster girls do without 1950s frocks? They'd be as lost as we are when we can't locate one of our ten million cardigans.
In other new music video news, Kelly Rowland has put out another video her serially-delayed album that will come out sometime between never and never ever.
She looks more and more like a hoochified Gayle King every video.
Also out with a new music video? Jill Scott with Eve and their song "Shame."
We will always love Eve because she gave us hot tunes like "Gangsta Lovin" and "Blow Ya Mind" and especially the song "Tambourine," a song that should've been a huge hit for her.
And with that shake of the tambourine, we're bring the Mixtape to a close today. Join us tomorrow as "Glee" returns and we stop having to make up fake episodes of it.
P.S. check out our fake Gleecap trilogy before the new Gleecap tomorrow:
As always we wish you love, peace and downloads! BRING ON THE SOUL TRAIN DANCE LINE!