The Majak Mixtape - Michael Cera's Infinite Playlist

Oh Michael Cera, how you doing boo? With Scott Pilgrim vs. the World underperforming at the box office, making it your fourth flop in a row since Juno, it must be difficult seeing your former co-star Ellen Page riding high with Inception. See, unlike most corners of the world, we don’t hate you Cera for being the poster boy for hipsterdom seeing as we are gleefully hipster douche bags ourselves. So we’d like to offer this mixtape to help you get through this time and hopefully play on the set whenever they finally get around to making the Arrested Development film in a mix we’re calling, “Michael Cera’s Infinite Playlist.”

First up is Talking Heads “Once in a Lifetime” because don’t all hipsters owe a lot of their sheen to the yelping cries of David Byrne.

I actually knew a friend in a Talking Heads cover band that went by the name Byrne Victims. Anyway, we chose Once in a Lifetime because a) it’s a great tune and b) it’s also what we’d like you to do from now on in terms of roles. Stop playing the same character in every film making your range, in the words of the song, “same as it ever was.” Because you know what that makes you: the dorkier, Canadian version of Hugh Grant. DO YOU WANT THAT? I thought not.

Next up is “Super Ball” from indie pop group Magic Kids from their upcoming album Memphis.

It’s the kind of insanely catchy slice of garage band rock that would play over any number of Michael Cera trailers. You know, the trailer with cartoon scribbling, lots of mumbling by Cera, a pretty girl inexplicably attracted to our slouchy hero, and that whole aura of magical twee so prevalent in the Cera filmography where love is just a stammering speech and

Lastly is “Whatever Happened to Corey Haim?” by the Irish outfit The Thrills. We'd have the YouTube for it but EMI are jackwads and don't allow embedding of it which we say:

The title alone should send chills down your spine Mr. Cera. Oh how quick we go from darling to A&E reality show. You need to get better scripts before people start asking, “Whatever happened to Michael Cera?” and somebody eventually replies, “I think he’s got a new dating show on VH-1 called Michael Cera Vs. The Whores.”

We're sure New York would approve:

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