Okay, so maybe it's not that dire. As long as there are magazine covers and bland romantic comedies to be made, I'm sure Aniston will have a vibrant career of some sort. It's just sad what sort of a punchline she's become and how she seems perpetually locked in the media in that triangle with Brad Pitt and Angelina "Skeletor" Jolie.
Let's go back to the 90s for a brief second, to a time when Aniston's hair cut was a national pasttime and Courtney Cox was without David Arquette and her forehead was with movement in a mixtape we're fondly titling "The One With the Jennifer Aniston Mix"
First up, The Rembrants and that formerly ubiquitous theme song to Friends, "I'll Be There For You"
To say that "I'll Be There For You" was inescapable is sort of like referring to Gulf Oil spill as a whoopsy daisy. Every radio station obsessively played the song. Every gathering of people immediatel did the handclaps at the beginning of the tune. But much like Aniston's acting range, The Rembrants' career was one-note and have disappeared pretty much like Matthew Perry during one of his drug/alcohol benders.
Our next flashback jam from 1995 is Skee-Lo's "I Wish"
Skee-Lo should've added to his list of things he wished for that he wished for a better career. The jokes, they just write themselves at this point folks. Part of the brief revival of feel good rap music in the mid-90s that was a cheerful escape of early 90s gangsta rap, Skee-Lo's song was a breath of fresh air much like Aniston and crew were when their show debuted on NBC as part of the then powerful Must See Thursdays that briefly made being a New York City neurotic yuppie the thing du jour. Now everybody wants to be a Southern vampire of indiscriminate sexual orientation. Oh, progress.
Next, we have Brandy and her remix of "I Wanna Be Down" featuring Yo-Yo, Queen Latifah, and MC Lyte
Oh Brandy. More famous now for having a brother who fucked Kim Kardashian into reality show glory, there was a time where Brandy's career was nothing but promise. But life has a funny way of getting in the way and the last big hit Brandy had involved a car accident so here's hoping that she can put her career back on point and make a revival Maxwell/Monica style.
Lastly, Des'Ree and "You Gotta Be"
A Deepak Chopra book put to music, Des'Ree was giving a whole of positive sentiments out to the folks during 1995. A decade later, Des'Ree was telling Beyonce's management "You Gotta Be" paying me for sampling her hit tune Kissing You without permission on her B'Day album bonus track "Still In love."
When reached for comment, all Beyonce could say was:
And for Jennifer Aniston, stay strong. Out of the two insemination comedies this year, yours was better than the other irrelevant Jennifer's (Lopez) film The Back-Up Plan. Which, reading that back, that isn't all that comforting.