We'll admit, we've all had this sort of moment. You're angry at somebody, usually for some long ago transgression that just keeps playing in your mind. You try to push it out of your psyche through a variety activities, but it keeps working its way to the front of your thoughts. Then, usually in our case due to one too many vodka Diet Cokes from Recovery Room, you end up sitting with your cellphone in hand and dialing that number and leaving a voicemail that as SOON as you hang up, you immediately regret and start devising whacky, TGIF sitcom style plans to break into the person's voicemail box and delete said embarrassing message. It's happened to the best of us. Though most of us aren't the wives of Supreme Court Justices.
Oh yeah, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas' wife Virginia called up Anita Hill to ask for an apology for the allegations she famously made about Clarence Thomas sexually harrassing her, accusations that caused a huge scandal during Thomas' confirmation hearing back in 1991.
Oh girl, stop. You may still be pissed about it but dialing up Anita Hill's work number and leaving a voicemail message is not the way to accomplish your goal. Especially when it gets exposed to everybody because Ms. Hill thought that you were a prank caller at first and forwarded the message onto the FBI. NEVER LEAVE EVIDENCE, FOOL. *Debra Wilson as Whitney Houston voice*
So in honor of your goof, we dedicate this mixtape to telephones because there really seems to be an inordinate amount of them and typing "telephone" into YouTube really has made this a way easier mixtape to put together because this bitch is still tired from our SO GAY DAY celebrations.
First up, Soulja Boy Tell'em (Ugh, I can't believe I typed out that moniker of douchebaggery) and infinitely more talented Karina Pasian ask you to "Kiss Me Thru the Phone"
If only Clarence Thomas had been accused of something as comparatively innocuous as this, his wife probably wouldn't still be raging at Anita Hill. Instead, Anita Hill said, ""He spoke about acts that he had seen in pornographic films involving such matters as women having sex with animals and films showing group sex or rape scenes....On several occasions, Thomas told me graphically of his own sexual prowess." She also said in the heated confirmation hearings, "Thomas was drinking a Coke in his office, he got up from the table at which we were working, went over to his desk to get the Coke, looked at the can and asked, 'Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?'." If true, that is just, I can't even.
But dialing up her number Virginia? Gurl that makes you a "Bug a Boo"
We love how dated this song is at just 11 years old. MCI? Gone. Pagers? Do people even know what those are these days? Oh and this was back in the day when Beyonce pretended she cared about having the rest of the members get facetime in videos? MadTV, you know what is up.
Lastly, we're sort of sad that Anita Hill and Virgina Thomas didn't actually speak to one another since we're sure it'd probably sound like a sexual harrassment version of Shirley Brown's classic "Woman to Woman."
"Hello, may I speak to Anita? Anita, this is Virginia. You might not know who I am. But the reason why I am calling you is because I was going through my old man's Newsweeks this morning and just happened to remember when you testified against him. So woman to woman, I don't think it's being any more than fair to call you and let you know where I am coming from. Now Anita, I don't know how you're going take this. Whether you'll be cool or call the FBI on me. You see, it really doesn't matter to me."
"VIRGINIA, WHO ARE YOU ON THE PHONE WITH?"
"WHY IS THERE A PUBE ON MY DINNER PLATE?"
"Don't think this is over Anita!" *Hangs up the phone*