Welcome back for another edition of "Peach, Please" where we recap all of the hot ass mess that is the current season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Last week, NeNe rocked a hoodrat, two-tone version of a Justin Bieber haircut while cussing out people, Kandi remained mush-mouthed and tedious, Sheree continued to have no self-awareness whatsoever, Kim classily said she had been "chasing dick" since birth, and new Housewife Phaedra harped about being a Southern Belle so much we half-expected her to own slaves.
This week on the Housewives, NeNe gets in touch with her inner Claire Huxtable, Sheree goes on a blind date so somebody can get in touch with her inner you-know-what, and, what can only be an emerging theme, everybody demonstrates how much they don't give two shits about Kandi.
The episode kicked off with Kim and her assistant, named of all things Sweetie, giving their wigs and weaves a workout while jogging.
Ever the lazy one, Kim spent most of her time bitching and moaning because girlfriend only runs when there is a ring or a new hair piece attached to the end of a stick.
Meanwhile NeNe and new housewife Cynthia met to discuss NeNe's issues with her husband Greg as well as her son Bryson. And they also seemed to be locked in a battle to see who was going to have the most jank hairstyle of the scene, which advantage Cynthia!
Cynthia, Phaedra, Sheree and Kandi were dry as white toast this episode, let's be honest. When Phaedra isn't mispronouncing words, she's boring and constantly looks like she just got kicked out of Destiny's Child. The show wants us to invest in Cynthia and her old man who wants to marry her. Zzzzzz.
Sheree pretended she had emotional and physical needs like an actual human being and went out on a blind date which did lead to this hilarious moment.
The date ended up not being the trainwreck we as viewers hoped for. But knowing Sheree and her ability to snatch defeat out of the grill of victory, we can see this imploding in a "Who Gon' Check Me Boo" style nightmare in like four episodes.
Now, let us get to the best part of the whole damn episode people. NeNe and Brice get into a conversation about his lazy behavior, his drug arrest and generally sucking at being a contributing member of society.
That's some good reality television right there, especially when it goes from Real Housewives of Atlanta to a Tyler Perry play within a blink of an eye.
We like to think that NeNe reviewed this scene from the Cosby Show when Clair Huxtable goes off on Vanessa for seeing the band The Wretched.
Later on the episode, everybody gathers together at Cynthia and her old man's supper club to watch Kandi perform. Except nobody pays attention and says as much.
It's shaping up that somebody is going to have to die in order to give Kandi another interesting storyline.
The episode ended with Dwight and NeNe making friends with one another, and all of the Housewives finding out that Phaedra's fine boyfriend is a convict from Sheree's hair stylist Lawrence.
We love Lawrence since he look like he just came from Paris Is Burning.
Next week, Kim and Kandi go to gay pride for Kim to "sing" for the masses.
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