The Majak Mixtape - This Mixtape Can't Tell the Difference Between a Hockey Mom and a Pitbull

Oh Sarah Palin, how are you doing this Monday morning? You've just made your big grand debut as a reality star with your show Sarah Palin's Alaska making its premiere last night on the TLC Network. Frankly, we're not surprised here at the Mixtape that you went the reality TV show route at this point in your public life.

What we are surprised about is that TLC decided to have a show on its primetime network that dealt with a people who are of at least average height and have not churned out enough kids to start a basketball team so kudos for that. And it's own weird way, Palin's show at least flirts with the Learning that used to be part of The Learning Channel as she rattles off facts that she *cough* assistant *assistant* has learned about "The Last Frontier" that is Alaska.

Palin, along with her husband Todd and her brood of children are taking a summer to "discover" Alaska through family road trips to help bond them together. Plus, it's a lot easier to make sure Bristol doesn't get knocked up again if you're on top of a glacier. WE'RE JUST SAYING.

Anyway, put your hands up in the air and wave them around like you just don't care for this Monday mixtape for you former governor of Alaska.

First up, The Stylistics and their tune "Bectha By Golly Wow"

Here's the thing about Sarah Palin. She's from Idaho, lives in Alaska and speaks primarily like Frances McDormand's character in Fargo.

It's all feeds into her down home schtick which works exceedingly well in both the political and reality show arenas. They do share a lot of things in common in actuality as they both want to make the viewing public belief that the reality that is constantly being presented before them has not been utterly scripted beforehand. At their core, they both take something raw, whether it be footage or a political idea or a human being, and contort, edit, and manipulate things so that a message can be delivered in a way that allows that audience to be at their most passive intellectually in terms of questioning the machinations of everything and most aggressive financially in terms of spending funds whether it is on the products featured on the show or for the candidate's political campaign.

And in a weird way, Palin's folksy charm works quite well, and Palin's whole crew goes off way more endearing on the show than you would expect because such artifice of being just a regular mom works well in the total mocking lie that is reality television. 

Next up, Roisin Murphy and her song "Momma's Place"

So the whole Palin brood is on the show and each one with a more ridiculous name the next with Willow, Piper, Trig, Track and the aforementioned Bristol.

One of the most head scratching moments of the show was the fact that one of the daughters, Weeping Willow or Pied Piper, referred to their mother, REPEATEDLY, as Sarah as a way of getting her attention. If we dared trying call our mom by her first name, ESPECIALLY with an attitude, we would've seen her be a lot less soccer mom and a lot more pitbull in that situation.

Granted, given some of the ungodly little beasts that have been on reality shows (looking at you Kelly Osbourne, Teresa's children on Real Housewives of New Jersey, everybody with the last name of Jenner or Kardashian), the Palin children overall we're quite normal given their surroundings and being on television and having a mother who blithely likes to drop phrases like "Don't retreat, reload" into conversation and has a television studio of sorts on the property. You know, just your average, run-of-the-mill hockey mom.

Lastly, "Bosom Buddies" from the musical Mame

We don't like to believe in conspiracy theories and be all paranoid in that regard, but it's hard for us to believe that the debut of Sarah Palin's show and PBS special on Tina Fey happening on the same night is just too much of a freaky coincidence.

We leave you with Amy Poehler's classic Sarah Palin rap. Happy Monday everybody!

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