Peach, Please: Spades, Shade, and Babes

On last week's Real Housewives of Atlanta: Cynthia got engaged in the most lackluster proposal ever while Sheree spun herself around the dancefloor for charity. Meanwhile, Kandi continued to complain about Kim being tardy with the payment over "Tardy for the Party." Kim spent $60,000 on her daughter's bedroom and then wondered why her other daughter had the least bit of jealousy issues stemming from it.

This week on the Real Housewives: Phaedra drops both a baby and the pretense of how far she's really along, Sheree's fake doctor gets called a spade when the ladies gather together to play spades, NeNe is working hard for her money by getting an entertainment gig because jank wigs and nose jobs don't pay for themselves.

Let us get this party started, y'all

In what can only be described as one of the most highly anticipated moments of this whole amazing season, Queen Phaedra finally gives birth to her child. We have to say that Phaedra going off to Augusta to deliver the child in a relatively low-key manner was inititally sort of disappointing. This is the woman who had one of the hottest messes of a baby shower known to man with ballet dancers and rhinestones on her eye and her dignity somewhere misplaced with her baby daddy. So the fact that she didn't give birth to baby on a bed of collard greens or something is a bit shocking.

The whole mystery around the baby has played out all season long like the central mystery arc you would see on Desperate Housewives, except that it's actually sort of interesting. Maybe? Anyway, after Kim randomly decides to be intelligent and drop some of her nurse knowledge the past few weeks, even Kandi begins to question the validity of Phaedra saying that she is delivering her baby two months early so naturally she goes to visit Phaedra in the hospital in Augusta to get down to the truth.

Mystery solved: Phaedra's mother is a preacher and says that any child born out of wedlock is not in fact her grandchild which pretty much says that Fine Apollo and Phaedra got married just because he got her knocked up post-prison stint and mother dear is doing what mothers have done for centuries which is to fake that her child is telling the truth so she can go to bed at night.

Phaedra eventually gave birth, declaring her child both initially gross and looking Chinese because she is the gift that keeps on socially awkward-ing this season. She continues to make us question if she got her law degree the same place where Sheree's doctor friend got his.

In the other major storyline, the ladies continue to get their Desperate Housewives on by gathering together at Sheree's home for a party and meeting her doctor friend Dr. Tiy-E. Since Sheree is too busy getting her cars repossessed, we'll forgive her for not once Googling his name to find out about all of his various scandals that he's been a part of since throwing yourself on the hood of your car as the tow truck leaves your driveway really takes a toll on a person.

But leave it to one NeNe Leakes to come to a spades party and immediately be ready to spill the tea at first sight of Dr. Tiy-E and his Afro Part of Dubious Nature first makes people pray OVER A GAME OF SPADES which gets a hilariously huge eye roll from Kandi since she's probably reached her crazy quota already with dealing with Phaedra and her baby.

The episode ends with the ladies giving Dr. Tiy-E the harsh cross examining that he so desperately needed as he tried to answer their barrage of questions about his background and the scandal that cost his him a radio position due to allegations about him fudging his credentials.

Here is, care of the fabulous website Starcasm, some clips of Dr. Tiy-E in action:

There are so many things that we loathe about Dr. Tiy-E but especially we hate that he's built a career talking to Black women about why they aren't getting married to Black men and all the things they are doing wrong which basically amounts to Dr. Tiy-E saying that Black women are too independent and strident and blah blah blah anti-feminism cakes. The thing that annoys us is that it's not like Black men are getting married in huge numbers and leaving their female counterparts in the dust so the idea to single out Black women because they are, in a lot of ways, doing better both in jobs and education than Black men and make them feel guilty for their accomplishments is beyond ridiculous. Especially coming from some jive talking man who got his Ph.D from an online university.

Granted there is a whole industry that is focusing on women that pretty much blames them for their lack of marriage because they are too wrapped up in their careers or are too picky or whatnot. It all reeks of men using societal fears of being single as a way to tap into a market that has members who have been conditioned to feel bad about being more successful than a man as society says that makes it an unnatural shift in the order of things. It's tacky, it's trifling, and most of all it's harmful because it pretty much gives men a total free pass on their behavior and essentially says, "You go change everything us while I sit here and have a beer." That? Is some b.s.

Elsewhere, NeNe decided that she would make the perfect entertainment reporter because those kind of stints have gone oh-so-well for her in the past.

SNTV - Michael Lohan vs. NeNe Leakes
Uploaded by splashnews. - News videos from around the world.

Though going off on Michael Lohan is probably considered doing God's work.

Anyway, that is it for this edition of "Peach, Please." Be sure to come back next week when Sheree confronts her fake doctor.

Laters my little peaches.

No comments: