What the What?!

Hey everybody and happy Thirsty Thursday to you all! We here at the Majak Kingdom blog are never content with our content so we're always on the hunt for new features to make this the most fun place to traipse through on a daily basis.

And honestly, there is nothing that we love more than a good piece of celebrity gossip so we figured why don't we condense a week's worth of celeb gossip down to our favorite juicy morsels of bad behavior, questionable career choices, and all the other assorted misadventures that fill the magazines of US Weekly, In Touch, OK! as well as the various gossip blogs like Oh No They Didn't!, Perez Hilton (BLECH), Just Jared and TMZ.

So sit back and relax y'all and read today's inagural issue of What The What as we take on Demi Lovato, Lindsay Lohan's trick or treating at rehab, eerily life-like celebrity masks, the Cyrus family implosion and all those other celeb stories that exist to make us feel better about our lowly, 9 to 5 existence.

JuJubee, for one, is excited for it.

First up, the scandal that is the talk across junior high cafeterias everywhere, Disney star Demi Lovato has checked herself into a rehab for "emotional and physical" issues according to a report in People Magazine. Apparently the "Sonny With a Chance" star flipped her shit on some back-up dancer after allegedly having some wild party times and decided for herself that it would be best to check herself into rehab to deal with her longstanding issues.

Which to that we say:

We're not saying that this is total PR spin. Okay we are BUT come on now. According to a report on Showbizspy.com, Demi was allegedly devastated to find out her relationship with purity ring wearer Joe Jonas was all just for publicity to help promote Camp Rock 2. You're telling me this girl who didn't have the self-awareness to see what a manufactured relationship she allegedly was in:

Suddenly we're supposed to believe Demi was like, "OMG, I need to go to rehab like pronto." We're doubtful because just two weeks ago Demi was telling interviewers how she wasn't going to end up like Lindsay Lohan.

Still allegedly pining for a Jonas, especially Joe, is probably worthy of a trip to a rehab. Like come on Demi, pick up a Taylor Swift album. This member of the Brothers Jonai is a notorious d-bag when it comes to relationships.

No matter how she came to the decision, we're happy she's getting help and got herself off the Jonas Brother tour since being on a tour with your ex while his new girlfriend follows him around the world is no trip to Disneyland.

Speaking of Lindsay Lohan, according to a report on Sunday on TMZ, while Lindsay Lohan is busying herself putting together a handbag line while in rehab, she also got her Halloween candy on when family and friends sent care packages of candy to her.

Word has it, Lindsay Lohan snorted a couple Pixie Sticks just for old times' sake. KIDDING. It's satire! Or something. Just don't sue us Dina!

In truly, "What the What?!" news, as reported on Toxel and linked to on Oh No They Didn't, a website called ThatsMyFace.com is in the business of making customized masks of celebrity faces. And they are pretty dead-on we must say:

But why stop at George Clooney, when you can also be Keira Knightley:

We only can sit and wait here at the Majak Kingdom for the day we start seeing reports of bank robberies and their descriptions of the robbers being, "Suspect may have starred in a lot of costume dramas. Like seriously, does she ever do things during a time period where at least television existed?"

Lastly, we take on the Disney star who has surprisingly not ended up in rehab yet, the one, the only, the can't-be-tamed Miley Cryus.

Her family is going all crazy at the moment with her parents divorcing and allegations that her mother Tish had an affair with Bret Michaels, which Bret Michaels has denied in a statement to People.com.

Which cheating on Billy Ray Cyrus with Bret Michaels? We can't even say that's really a step down or a step up. That's pretty much a lateral move right there.

And even if you didn't, this whole business has completely and utterly besmirched the good name of Tish that we here at the Majak Kingdom have always held in high regard because of a particular Tish.

And that my lovelies is a wrap for this first edition of "What the What." Hope you enjoyed it. And if you ever have some good gossip, feel free to share it with us because:

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