The Majak Mixtape - Accomplishments of Gilt and Circular Origins

Oh it's the most wonderful time of year. You know what I mean, don't you? That time of year where you pack the family together into the car, make the long journey off to the relatives where you put on your wool sweaters, sip some hot cocoa, sing some carols in front of the fire while reminiscing about the good ole days and opening presents and remembering the simple pleasures of just being together and the joy that can come from just that.

Actually, we're in fact referring to that magical time of year where Hollywood's egotistical fascination with itself reaches its maximum capacity otherwise known as awards season as the Hollywood Foreign Press announced nominations for the Golden Globes. Oh the Golden Globes, how we enjoy you probably the most of the upcoming awards since you're basically like a real high budget version of all of those school award dinners we had to go to in high school as the stars sit at their tables with their cast members, half of whom they probably can't stand and the other half they probably had long forgotten about affairs with, while awards for both film and television are given out while we find out that the popularity contest of life continues even in death as, like every awards program, the sound is tactlessly left on as people applaud with varying degrees of enthusiasm/respect for dead folks.

Notoriously WTF in its nominations every year, the Golden Globes continues to prove to be a reliable source of head shaking as we scrolled through the list of nominees that somehow found Jennifer Love Hewitt of both "Party of Five" and "vajazzling" fame up for a Golden Globe for her Lifetime film "The Client List" while people like "Parks and Recreation" Amy Poehler were snubbed while the supporting acting categories for television remain one of the biggest hot messes known to award shows as the HFP delightfully thrown in everybody from comedy, drama and TV films all into one category because that totally makes sense. Maybe? Who knows? We're just here for the bad styling choices, the boozed-up celebrities and the too-slow-to-get-to-the-beeper f-bombs that seem to always populate the program.

So if you were thinking about going anywhere before reading this all we can say is:

and enjoy!

First we will take on the film categories:


For once, we actually have no problems with any of the nominations in this category. We'll admit that "The Fighter" pretty much sounds like "The Wrestler 2: Electric Boogaloo," but we appreciate anything with Mark Wahlberg that makes up for the epic fail that was "The Happening."

"Black Swan" and "The King's Speech" were fairly unshocking choices given the amount of buzz swirling about them. Honestly, if somebody had told me ten years ago that it would be Mila Kunis with the best career out of the "That 70s Show" cast I would have laughed in your face the way that casting directors must laugh in Topher Grace's face when he shows up to audition for things that Jake Gyllenhaal and Tobey Maguire were probably offered first.

The only thing we are disappointed in is "The Social Network" being nominated for Best Film. Oh enjoyed the film, but we feel like it might keep Justin Timberlake from doing music as it furthers his delusion that he's actually a credible actor outside of "Saturday Night Live." Go back to making music, specifically the "Justified" era where he gladly lent your vocals to songs that Michael Jackson had passed on like the beat that made up "Rock Your Body."


James Franco, 127 HOURS
Mark Wahlberg, THE FIGHTER

We pretty much adore every single person in this category so instead of throwing shade we are merely happy that Jesse Eisenberg was cast in "The Social Network" instead of Michael Cera and therefore has become our new awkward boyfriend du jour.

Instead, we're just going to put video of Colin Firth singing in "Mamma Mia." Because why not.

Can't wait for them to use that in your inevitable career retrospective, Mr. Darcy.

Also we enjoy the insanity that is James Franco. From wanting to duet with Robert Pattinson when he hosts the Oscars this year to appearances on daytime soaps to his appearance in delightful drag on the cover of Candy magazine, we love ever bit of doesn't-remotely-give-a-fuck that just permeates out of his goofy little grin.


Nicole Kidman, RABBIT HOLE
Jennifer Lawrence, WINTER’S BONE
Natalie Portman, BLACK SWAN
Michelle Williams, BLUE VALENTINE

This category highlights the various archetypes that get women their awards: mentally disturbed (Natalie Portman and Halle Berry in Frankie and Alice), grieving (Nicole Kidman in "Rabbit Hole"), and scrappy teenager (Jennifer Lawrence in Winter's Bone). All of this is better than that period of time where it seemed you had to play a hooker in order to get a nomination for award shows (LOOK AT YOU ELISABETH SHUE IN LEAVING LAS VEGAS AND SHARON STONE IN CASINO). So we'll say this is all a nice step in terms of empowerment of some sort.

Speaking of Cher, somehow "Burlesque" ended up getting a total of three nominations with 2 for best original song and one for best musical/comedy.

The best musical/comedy category has always been a hot spot where critically panned films got some love for reasons completely unknown. LOOKING AT YOU NINE.

When Fergie, whose acting credits are pretty much limited to Kids Incorporated, is the best part of your film, you have screwed up in masterful ways.

On that note of screw-ups, we were initially thinking that, besides being an awful film, "The Tourist" starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie is also not a comedy. Well that was until we did a Google search and the whole of the Internet, dating back to September or so, was trying to figure out exactly what the film was.

Romance? Thriller? Comedy? Tyler Perry film? We can't really tell. All we know that this reeks of ratings ploy to get people to tune in. And it will totally work.

We move on now to the television awards. First up, best drama:

Best Television Series - Drama
Boardwalk Empire
The Good Wife
Mad Men
The Walking Dead

A good list of shows we have to say with "Boardwalk Empire" doing 1920s proud while "Dexter" is slicing through the competition and Julianna Margulies proves with "The Good Wife" that George Clooney isn't the only person who managed to leave "ER" with a career still having a pulse. Meanwhile AMC is snatching wigs left and right with both "Mad Men" and "The Walking Dead" being nominated this year. Lead actor Andrew Lincoln is still probably most famous for being the guy with the cue cards in "Love Actually" as well as putting together a Beatles-tastic surprise for his best friend and his bride.

We still don't quite get all the love for "Love Actually" or at least how it's seen as a big romantic film since 70 percent of the movie is about people being assholes to one another. It's not less tragic if they have an accent. Just occasionally more sexy.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Piper Perabo, Covert Affairs
Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

All we know is that we now live in a world where it will be forever written "Piper Perabo, 'Coyote Ugly' star and former Golden Globe nominee." WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHAT IS THIS? WE NEED TO FIND SOME SORT OF ESCAPE FROM THIS MADNESS.
Thanks for all your help Peggy!

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House

We are terrible people, but we really want Michael C. Hall to win just because he's getting divorced from his co-star. WHO PLAYS HIS SISTER. Nothing stokes the fiery embers of passion quite like playing siblings (LOOKING AT YOU CAST OF THE BRADY BUNCH). Anyway, the situation has awkward acceptance speech written all over it. We're terrible. We get it. Our theme song below:

Next up:
Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy
30 Rock
The Big Bang Theory
The Big C
Modern Family
Nurse Jackie

I'm sorry, do I not see "Parks and Recreation" on this list? What's your reaction to this Andy?

But seriously though. We're sort of stunned that "Community" nor "Parks and Recreation" ended up on the list. We don't really have a strong opinion on most of these shows other than we're happy David from "Roseanne" is still getting work and Edie Falco has lived on since the BLACK SCREEN OF DOOM from "The Sopranos."

And "30 Rock" let us see the brilliance of delusional Jenna Maroney, even in non-fiction settings.

And on that note, we end this slight overview of the Golden Globes nominees. For a complete list of the nominees including which members of "Glee" got their nominees and what other actors/actresses totally got snubbed, go to the official Hollywood Foreign Press website.
As always, we wish you love, peace and downloads!



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