Ho, ho, ho, my lovelies. Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, better fruitcake than your favorite edition of Yule Blog, where we tackle Christmas music so you won't be distracted from buying lots and lots of cardigans for Christmas.
Last week we tackled the teen pop explosion of the 1990s and the resulting Christmas that came from it. We whispered/moaned with Britney. We added infinite amount of syllables to words with Christina Aguilera. We did some of our best choreographed booty shaking with NSYNC and Backstreet Boys and hung tough with the New Kids on the Block.
This week we shift our Christmas cheer to the STREETS or as street as rappers can be when they are discussing the joys of miseltoe, decking the halls and the birth of Jesus. We have to admit, Santa, in a lot of ways, is pretty gangsta. Think about it, he's traveling around the world, sneaking into people's houses, doing what he pleases while people nervously await him and give him baked goods. He got the peeps shaking in their Timberlands about whether or not they are going to end up on the naughty or nice list while has his own posse of elves and one tricked out sleigh. And you KNOW that he's got a different girl on every continent while Mrs. Claus holds down the fort at the North Pole. He's like a White Notorious B.I.G.
(Unsurprisingly we found this lovely image on MySpace, the projects of social networking sites now)
So in honor of hip hop's Ludachristmas spirit, we dedicate this edition of Yule Blog to some our favorite hip hop Christmas tunes that will pop a cap in your ass while stuffing your stocking! HOLLA!
First up, we go back to 1979 and Kurtis Blow's amazing "Christmas Rap."
This song makes us want to pop lock for Christ.
Next up, Run DMC is up in the building with "Christmas in Hollis"
While cleaning out some of our attic, we found our old Mickey Mouse turntable. When we opened it up, the record that was on there? A single of Run DMC's "Run's House." Oh that's right folks, we had street cred in pre-school. And if you don't like that:
Next up, TLC takes a break from setting fire to people's houses to sing a lovely tune about sleigh rides.
We enjoy any Christmas tune where it's practically mandatory that you do either the tootsie roll or the running man to.
Next up, Quad City DJ's and the 69 Boys and their tune "What You Want For Christmas."
Some sample lyrics:
"I want 12 disc changers
11 filly blunts
10 carot gold
9 sega tapes
8 gold teeth
7 pairs of jeans
6 pints of beer
5 fresh gold chains
4 thirty smokers
3 pack of draws
With a Cadillac to put it all in!"
We're going to give our Wendy Williams "I Can't" .gif a rest today and bust out a new one for the occasion.
Next up the Dogg Pound use the same sample as Lil Kim's "Crush On You" to get their Christmas spirit on with "I Wish."
Whatever, we've heard "better" uses of that sample.
We end this list with the totally unnecessary hip hop-ification of the gold digger anthem "Santa Baby."
Brooke Shields doll is having NONE OF THIS.
And that's it for this week's edition of Yule Blog. Come back next Friday when we make the Yuletide "HEY GIRL HEY"
See you then!