What is the what what, everybody. Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, getting nominated and snubbing your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes to work on its non-bitchface when the camera cuts to it when it loses. It's one of our favorite times of year everybody. The ego orgy that is the awards season is quickly and breathlessly approaching the grand ole money shot that is the Academy Awards and yesterday 2010 Oscar winner Mo'Nique took time out of her busy schedule of inexplicably adding apostrophes to things to announce the nominations. But before we get to who is going to be going for the gold and who is going to have to watch from the stands, it's time to have some maple apple instant oatmeal with a side of TEA.
Up first, Ke-Monetary Sign of United States of America Currency-ha is being sued by her former management company, and it's shockingly not because she caused them to have some sort of glitter rash. According to a report by the always fabulous New York Post, the "We R Who We R" is being sued for some $14 million they feel she owes them. What takes this story from mildly amusing to hilarious is the amount of shade they throw at the star by saying in court documents that Kesha "is a very young and inexperienced artist whose 'star' may not continue to rise." Clearly they didn't listen to the pop opus that is "Grow a Pear" from her EP "Animal."
In other news, to the delight of people with taste, MTV's version of "Skins" found its ratings getting skinned its second week of being on the air. The show took a sharp decline in its second week, tumbling from 3.3 million viewers in the first to just 1.6 million in its second outing. Contrary to what we had been led to believe with the success of the "Twilight" series, sometimes teenagers WILL reject a shitty product geared towards them. Especially when it doesn't have a new episode of "Jersey Shore" to prop it up their teenage wanton ways.
Speaking of the Shore, the cast of "Jersey Shore" is taking its drunken rampage to Italy in their next season according to MTV. We assume this is some cosmic retribution for inflicting Giada DeLaurentis and her over-ennounciating of words onto the American public.
Next up, we take on who loved and who got snubbed by the Oscars.
Oh the Oscars, how we love you. Baseball may have its World Series and football may have its Super Bowl, but to us the greatest championship game in the world every year is the Oscars as stars take to the red carpet instead of the playing field, suit up in Dior and De La Renta instead of helmets and jerseys and tackle each other with passive aggressive clapping during the ceremony without the fear of having to be tested for performance enhancing drugs in their systems. This year the ceremony will be hosted by occasional "General Hospital" guest star James Franco and Anne "I Spent Half of 'Love and Other Drugs' Topless and all I got was this Co-Hosting Job" Hathaway, and we can't wait for all of that madness. I mean, James Franco recently debuted a serious film version take on "Three's Company" scripts. Anything is possible this year!
Let us get to the nominations, shall we? First up, let's tackle the Best Actor category:
BEST ACTOR
Javier Bardem, Biutiful
Jeff Bridges, True Grit
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours
We're pretty much A-Ok with all of these nominees. Right now, it's pretty much Colin Firth's award to lose as everybody has been going crazy over how wonderful Mr. Darcy is in "The King's Speech." We are sad that Ryan Gosling wasn't nominated for his role in "Blue Valentine," but we're sure he's doing okay. Isn't that right?
Over in the Best Actress category, Natalie Portman is ready to plié all over the competition:
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine
If anybody is going to take the award from her clutches, it's either going to be Annette Bening or possibly Michelle Williams. Who would have thought back in the days of the Creek that Michelle Williams would come out having the best career with Pacey following behind while Katie Holmes is busily starring in mini-series not being aired and James Van Der Beek as been reduced to making Internet memes:
In honor of the Creek, we're trotting out some Paula Cole next, with her tune "I Don't Want To Wait."
Paula Cole - I Don't Want To WaitUploaded by hushhush112. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.
Here's hoping that "I Don't Want Wait (For Our Lives to Be Over)" never ends up in one of those animal cruelty ads a la Sarah MacLachlan.
Next up is a toss-up category with Best Supporting Actress as all of the ladies nominated have a lot of buzz around their performances:
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom
We're pretty much rooting for everybody, but Helena Bonham Carter simply because of HBC's ability to give fantastic stink eye as exhibited at the Golden Globes during Melissa Leo's acceptance speech:
Over in the Best Supporting Actor category, Christian Bale is pretty much a lock for his scenery-chewing role in "The Fighter" otherwise known as "The Wrestler 2: Mark Wahlberg Boogaloo."
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christian Bale, The Fighter
John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right
Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech
But who knows, I wasn't expecting Jeremy "Christina Aguilera may or may not have gotten tanked at my birthday and ended up past out in my bed" Renner to be nominated so this could be another surprise category. And frankly, we're just happy that Justin Timberlake has pretty much gotten through this whole awards season with nary a nomination. Hopefully, not being nominated for an Oscar will make Timberlake sad, which will lead him to write lyrics and record songs and put out another album.
Because in his absence, we're stuck with the likes of Mike "Yes, I Really AM Cooler Than You" Posner and Usher trying to wheeze his way through performances of "The DJ Has My Career Back To Relevant Again."
Anyway, in honor of the supporting nominations, our next song in the Mixtape is our favorite new group Tennis and their tune "Marathon" because that's pretty much what the awards season is, a marathon in fabulous shoes.
The Best Director category could be one where we there could be an upset as who knows which super hyped movie is peaking at the right time:
BEST DIRECTOR
Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
Joel & Ethan Coen, True Grit
David Fincher, The Social Network
Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech
David O. Russell, The Fighter
We'd hand this Oscar to Aronofsky while the Academy is more likely to hand it to David Fincher with "The Social Network" being one of those films that gives the stuffy Academy the illusion of having the finger on the pulse of pop culture instead of its own vein to see if they are still alive. We are still shocked at the fact that "Inception" director Christopher Nolan got snubbed for his directing, coming on the heels of being snubbed during "The Dark Knight" as well.
In honor of the "Inception" director, our next song is the brills mash-up of the White Stripes tune "Seven Nation Army" with the Eurythmics classic "Sweet Dreams":
And for extra good measure, Beyonce's "Sweet Dreams" vs. La Roux's "Bulletproof"
And next up, the grand finale of awards, BEST PICTURE:
127 Hours
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King’s Speech
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter’s Bone
"The Social Network" has the most buzz so this could be either the most obvious category of the night or the Academy could pull a "Shakespeare in Love"/"Saving Private Ryan" style upset with something like "The King's Speech" taking the gold or even "Inception."
In honor of films, we tried to rack our brains for the perfect song that fully captures movies at their best, when they can be something to transport you into the world of a ballerina's breakdown, the crazed world of adventuring toys or the douchebaggy misadventures of Yale elites screwing each other out of millions of dollars. And of course, we had to go to the Muppets and the ending of "The Muppet Movie."
Bonus: Here are the Razzie Nominations!
Worst Picture
Twilight Saga: Eclipse
The Last Airbender
The Bounty Hunter
Sex & The City 2
Vampires Suck
Worst Director
Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables
Jason Friedberg &; Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck
Michael Patrick King, Sex & The City 2
M. Night Shymalan, The Last Airbender
David Slade, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Worst Actor
Ashton Kutcher, Killers and Valentine's Day
Gerard Butler, The Bounty Hunter
Jack Black, Gulliver's Travels
Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and Remember Me
Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Worst Actress
Jennifer Aniston, The Bounty Hunter
Miley Cyrus, The Last Song
The Leading Ladies, Sex & The City 2
Megan Fox, Jonah Hex
Kristen Stewart, Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Worst Supporting Actor
George Lopez, Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door and Valentine's Day
Billy Ray Cyrus, The Spy Next Door
Dev Patel, The Last Airbender
Jackson Rathbone, The Last Airbender and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Rob Schneider, Grown Ups
Worst Supporting Actress
Jessica Alba, The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete, and Valentine's Day
Cher, Burlesque
Liza Minnelli, Sex & The City 2
Nicola Peltz, The Last Airbender
Barbra Streisand, Little Fockers
Worst Screen Couple/Ensemble
The Entire Cast of Sex & The City 2
The Entire Cast of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
The Entire Cast of The Last Airbender
Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler, The Bounty Hunter
Josh Brolin's Face & Megan Fox's Voice, Jonah Hex'
Worst Prequel, Sequel, Remake Or Rip-Off
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Clash of the Titans
The Last Airbender
Sex & The City 2
Vampires Suck!
We're pretty much rooting for "Sex and the City 2" to sweep all of the categories because that film was atrocious from the first moment we had to hear Alicia Keys defile Blondie's "Rapture":
As always, the Razzie raise a slew of questions like how do Jessica Alba, Gerard Butler, Jennifer Aniston and George Lopez still get work? And then you immediately answer the question yourself when you remember they are starring in things like "The Bounty Hunter," "Little Fockers," and "Marmaduke."
In honor of these terrible films, we end this Mixtape with a palate cleanser with Corinne Bailey Rae's remake of Bob Marley's "Is This Love" off her new "The Love Ep."
As always we wish you love, peace and downloads! NOW BRING ON THE SOUL TRAIN DANCERS!
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