The Majak Mixtape - The Week in Tea

Happy Friday Mixtapers! Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, giving you MILESTONE REALNESS better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape. It's an extra special edition of the Majak Mixtape today as we celebrate the Mixtape and the Majak Kingdom blog as a whole reaching some 10,000 views since we started this lil ole blog back in September. To honor this little accomplishment, we're making this a party Mixtape as we're popping bottles, snatching wigs and, of course, spilling the tea in celebration as we unveil a brand new feature that will the Mixtape for Fridays! Now shuffle your way, Jujubee style, to the rest of the Mixtape!

Welcome to a new stunning, flawless, amazing, giving you gossip recap realness better than your favorite feature, our brand new Friday segment on the Majak Mixtape: The Week in Tea. Every Friday we're going back through the week to pick up stories we missed, the stories we loved and some of the stories we wish we had never heard! Think of it like when you did current events in your social studies class in junior high. But a lot bitchier.
The biggest news story of the week was, of course, bi-winning Charlie Sheen and his media blitz as he was pretty much interviewed by anybody with a microphone. His interview on "20/20" will be a thing of legend. We watched the interview while chatting with friend of the blog Grant, and he came to the wise conclusion that Charlie Sheen's interview was the real life version of the Natalie Portman rap on SNL. Because of Sheen's cray cray behavior, a whole cottage industry has sprung up to make money off of the situation.

You had Jimmy Fallon doing a parody of Charlie Sheen.

As well as Funny or Die:

And in a move that proves how much classier he is than us, Craig Ferguson has decided he will no longer make jokes about Charlie Sheen. Craig Ferguson likens the current media storm of Charlie Sheen to when people used to buy tickets to look at the crazies at Bedlam.

Somewhere Anne Hathaway and James Franco are sending Charlie Sheen a lot of fruit baskets as he cray cray streak has pretty much distracted a lot of people that was the epic fail of the Oscars. While Anne Hathaway was giving high energy bordering on manic realness, James Franco was a lethargic mess. And apparently, Franco had no problem with all of the criticism tossed his way for his performance EXCEPT for the Yale Daily News as he posted a photo of himself with the writing "Fuck You Yale Daily News" over it according to USAToday.

Here is the thing about James Franco. He is pretty much the closest thing we have to an in-real-life message board troll. If you've ever been on a Livejournal or any other message board community, there is always that person who does things JUST to get a rise out of people for their own delight. Franco seems to be cut from that mold has does whatever he feels like. So here's the thing: is he really mad at the Yale paper or is this still all part of his on-going trolling of the universe. The world may never know.

Next up, the daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, Bobbi Kristina, has taken to the Twitter to counteract allegations being made stemming from a photo of her allegedly getting her Bruno Mars on. And we don't mean singing 'bout no grenades either. According to the gossip blog Necole Bitchie, Bobbi Kristina is none too pleased at the "National Enquirer" running photos of herself allegedly snorting some cocaine and has gone on the defensive by saying, "The pictures_ a former very dear person to me did this. Set me up to make it look exactly what it looks like. God will smite them yes..But it’s really not what it looks like.." See? What a hardcore rebuff of all the accusations levied against her by the "National Enquirer." This leads us to our first tune, Whitney Houston at one of her most cracky points, singing her song against the intruding eyes of the celeb press in the, I swear to god this is how she spelled it, "Whatchulookinat" video.

Oh wait. It's totally not. If Bobbi Kristina thinks we're going to believe her lame reasoning she's higher than gas prices.

We simply adore when celebrities go on and on about how some photo or video isn't the true story, but they never feel any pressing need to explain what it actually is that is happening in their opinion. There is like a whole songbook just devoted to them bitching about being famous. One of the more hilarious things was when Good Charlotte, who initially got famous for their song mocking celebs complaining about their lives with "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," found fame to not be as easy as they thought it was going to be and put out the single "I Just Wanna Live."

And of course, there is the masterpiece that was La Vida Lohan and her tune "Rumors."

In other hot mess news, Lindsay Lohan is reportedly mad at her father Michael for signing up for a stint on Dr. Drew's "Celebrity Rehab." According to the ever reliable TMZ, Lindsay Lohan has been telling friends she wants to know how much Michael is making from his appearance on the show as she wants him to pay some child support to mother Dina for her younger siblings. Lord knows Lindsay doesn't need to be sole breadwinner of that clan. Also, Lindsay has also expressed concern that Michael Lohan may embarrass the family on the show. A valid concern if Lilo wasn't about to be on trial for stealing some overpriced tacky necklace from a jewelry store and her only appearances on Best Dressed Lists have been from her apperances in front of courtrooms.

Lohan also released a statement exclusively to RadarOnline, asking her father to please stop talking about her. Because nothing gets somebody to stop speaking about you than putting out a very public press release.

In other news, Mike Huckabee does not care for Natalie Portman and her unmarried baby bump. According to an article on Dlisted, on a recent appearance on the Michael Medved Show Mike Huckabee came for Natalie Portman's wig by saying,
"People see a Natalie Portman who boasts, 'We're not married but we're having these children and they're doing just fine.' I think it gives a distorted image. It's unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out-of- wedlock children. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can't get a job, and if it weren't for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care," he said. "And that's the story that we're not seeing."
Man, people can be so salty when they lose their office Oscars betting pool, can't they?

But before you start raging, the intrepid reporters at Dlisted by way of them sourcing US Weekly also dug up this gem of a comment that Mike Huckabee made in support of then 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spear being knocked up and keeping her baby:
"Apparently, she's going to have the child, and I think that is the right decision, a good decision, and I respect that and appreciate it. I hope it is not an encouragement to other 16-year-olds who think that is the best course of action. But at the same time I'm not going to condemn her. It's a tragedy when a 16-year-old who is not really prepared for all the responsibilities of adult life is going to be now faced with all the responsibilities of honest-to-goodness adult life."

Who knew that Mike Huckabee was such a "Zoey 101" stan.

In honor of all this baby drama, our next song is one of the greatest pieces of music ever written. We present you with "That Just My Baby's Daddy."

In other DISASTUH news, there is a greater likelihood of Channing Tatum emoting in a film than "Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark" from officially opening. The $65 million extravaganza has been delayed at least five times from having its official opening and recently Julie Taymor, who has taken a lot of heat for the production, said that the production is "trial by fire." I mean, we love Julie Taymor since she helped bring the magic of "The Lion King"to new heights in the brilliant Broadway version.

But come on Taymor, "Spiderman" is turning into the theatrical equivalent of the Iraq War: a bad idea to begin with little foresight that is now seems endless without nary an exit strategy.

In political news, Gov. Scott Walker has decided to call the cops on the missing Dems. In a report in today's La Crosse Tribune, Gov. Walker has threatened to call police to come and round up the Dems so there could finally be a vote on the budget.
"The Senate passed a resolution earlier in the day setting a 4 p.m. deadline for the senators to appear at the chamber. When none of them did, Fitzgerald signed the orders in dramatic fashion - in the center of the Senate chamber. State patrol officers watched silently from the gallery as Fitzgerald signed the orders executing the order. The Democrats left in protest over an anti-union bill."

Gov. Walker has also threatened to layoff some 1,500 state workers if his bill isn't passed. The epic battle continues, which leads us to our next song. Below is a fantastic album track "Shield and Sword" from Clare Maguire's debut album "Light After Dark."

And in local events, this Saturday marks the 9th Annual Miss Gay Mississippi Valley competition at Players. We're excited to watch all the wig snatching, fish serving divaness that is going to happening. In honor of those fierce queens who are about to pagaent for their lives, we offer up one of our personal all-time favorite drag queens, Miss Britney Houston of NYC. Below, Britney works it out to a remake of "Pleasure Principle."

And that, my lovelies, is just a taste of "The Week in Tea." As always, we wish you love, peace and downloads. Enjoy the weekend. And again, thank you so much for helping the Majak Kingdom blog get to over 10,000 total views! We close the Mixtape with a song for you!

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