The Majak Mixtape - This Mixtape is a Virgin Who Can't Even Drive

Happy Thursday Mixtapers. Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, giving you 1990s realness better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes to find the latest No Fear t-shirts. Today, the Mixtape is hopping into our Tardis and traveling backwards in time to the 1990s, the decade of dial-up internet, baby doll dresses and Jenny McCarthy being relevant for things other than autism. Twas a magical time to grow up in, where your Power Rangers battled to the death with your Captain Planet toys while you secretly watched "Celebrity Deathmatch" on MTV. So in honor of the 1990s, and part of the debut of a new weekly feature, we're flashbacking back to the decade to highlight some amazeball tunes stemming from the great wave of teen comedies that populated your local mall movie theatre. But before we pull on our knee high tights and spritz ourselves with some Designer Imposter Perfume and go hang out at the local Sam Goody, it's time for us to do what we go best:

The Charlie Sheen Choo-Choo Trainwreck continues to roll at ever increasing speeds. Barely seconds after the airing of Charlie Sheen's now legendary interview on ABC's "20/20," Charlie found himself with two porn star goddesses but minus two children as a judge awarded temporary custody to his ex-wife Brooke Mueller after allegedly threatening her life according to reports from TMZ. Sheen, according to reports, told Mueller, "I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom." To make all the worse for the children caught in the middle of this debacle, Mueller admitted to a judge that she is in day facility to deal with substance abuse. Charlie Sheen took to the Today Show yesterday morning, looking a strung-out mess as per usual. We actually feel really bad for the kids that are caught in the middle and hope the Sheen kids somehow manage to get together with the Britney Spears' kids for some very intensive group therapy. And then write a memoir. You know, to purge themselves of their families' demons and whatnot.

In other trainwreck news, Christina Aguilera has decided to sign on to be a judge for the NBC "American Idol"/"X-Factor" rip-off "The Voice." We're assuming she wasted when she signed that contract as the show sounds terrible as Entertainment Weekly describes the show as being passed on a Dutch hit where judges pick people for the show without seeing them, only hearing their voice. One slight gimmick does not a wholly different show from the ten million other singing shows make, NBC. NBC has some sort of sick obsession with trying to launch a huge singing contest as they've always tried to do "Last Choir Standing" and "The Sing Off." Blessedly, this singing competition will not have Nick Lachey's involvement in it so it at least has that little detail going for it. We're just hoping that Christina Aguilera doesn't think this is going to be the springboard for some massive relaunch for her career because gurl, come on: J.Lo is still floptastic and she's on "American Idol" while "The Sing Off" judge Nicole Scherzinger is on her 13th "debut" solo single at this point and former "American Idol" judge Paula Abdul squandered whatever "American Idol" could've done to relaunch her career by spending an inordinate amount of time talking to MC Scat Cat in her head.  Good luck Aguilera.

In further hot mess news, TMZ has managed to get a hold of the alleged cast of the new season of "Celebrity Rehab," and it is shaping up to be the biggest has-been fest this side of an ABC dancefloor! According to TMZ, the cast will include such luminaries as "The Real Housewives of D.C." cast members and White House crashers the Salahis, professional red carpet walker and occasional actress Bai Ling, MySpace celeb and former "Baywatch" child star Jeremy Jackson and Michael freakin' Lohan, the father of both Lindsay Lohan and all of her deep-seeded issues. We can't wait to see how this thing will play out.

And finally, E! reality starlet Kim Kardashian has put out a single. The world reels from her shoddy at best attempts at singing. Kardashian debuted the single on "On Air With Ryan Seacrest" because Ryan Seacrest, producer of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians," has suffered through countless horrible "American Idol" auditions so nothing Kim could flat-sing could possibly offend his sensibilities. We're sort of amazed at Kim's ability to be bored in everything she does. Promoting weightloss projects? Monotone enthusiasm. Shilling for workout shoes? Yawning glee. Sextape with Ray J? Snoozing happiness. It takes super human talent to come off sounding like a MORE bored Cassie, who, at best, sounded melodically comatose. Congratulations Kim, that's some special kind of achievement.

And that, my mixtaping lovelies, is the tea. Next up, we get our 1990s on.

Hey Mixtapers hey! We're debuting an all new feature to the Majak Mixtape and the Majak Kingdom blog. When we were a kid, one of our favorite things to do was sit up on late Sunday nights and listen to Kid Kelly's program Backtrax USA. At the time, it was all about the 1980s and all of the hits from that lovely time period but eventually expanded to include hits from 1990s as 1990s nostalgia has slowly started creep its way into the public consciousness. So in honor of our many late nights, sitting in our room with a blank cassette tape ready to tape any song we loved, we're turning Thursdays here on the Majak Mixtape into "Throwback Thursdays." Every Thursday, we're throwing back the Mixtape to a different time period each week. Today, we're turning our attention to all of the teen flicks that were out in force in the 1990s and the resulting soundtracks that came out to cash in on our hard-earned money.

We start with the 1995 comedy that blessed us with our Mixtape title for today. The one, the only, the saving-herself-for-Luke-Perry hilarious "Clueless."

"Clueless" wasn't just a movie. It was like this gigantic pop culture movement as tweens and teens across America picked up all of the quirky slang as delivered by Alicia Silverstone and Brittany Murphy and the rest of the cast, all to a wonderfully cotton candy soundtrack. This brings us to our first sampling of choices. First up The Muffs and their cover of the tune "Kids in America" that opens both the film and the soundtrack.

Next up, Coolio provided the soundtrack for both romance and heartbreak on the "Clueless" soundtrack.

Elsewhere, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones helped sparked the first flames of attraction between Cher Horowitz and Paul Rudd, WHO LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME SIXTEEN YEARS LATER. That's some serious "Dorian Gray" realness happening with Mr. Rudd. In honor of Mighty Mighty Bosstones appearance in the film, our next song on our playlist is their big hit "The Impression That I Get."

You can't talk about teen flicks of the 1990s and their soundtracks without mentioning the Baz Luhrmann extravaganza tragic-ganza that was his reworking of "Romeo and Juliet" starring Leonardo DiCaprio before he had morphed into a super well-respected actor and Claire Danes still had the It Girl shine of "My So-Called Life" permeating her being.

The soundtrack produced scores of hits including The Cardigans' "Lovefool," Garbage's "#1 Crush," and Des'ree's "Kissing You," but we're going to focus on some of the album tracks that we played to death while messing around with the bonus features that came along with the album because it was a soundtrack and CD-ROM in one. TECHNOLOGY FTW!

First up is Stina Nordenstam's song "Little Star."

And the song that we played to absolute death, the song we would put over any HAVING FUN TOGETHER montage in the teen film of our life would be the Wannadies and their song "You and Me Song."

And our favorite musical moment from "Romeo and Juliet" would have to be Quindon Traver knocking out a stunning, flawless, amazing, giving choirboy realness take on "Everybody's Free."

And from the Shakespearean tragedy of "Romeo and Juliet" to the night terrors of "I Know What You Did Last Summer." Emboldened by the success of "Scream," a wave of meta-fueled teen-centric horror films hit the market and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" was one of the less offerings.

You had a lot of teen royalty all gathered in one place with Jennifer "Spins in Circle While Screaming" Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze "Remember When I Was A-List" Jr., Ryan "My Abs Do Most of the Emoting" Philippe and Sarah "Stop Writing Slash Fic About Me" Michelle Gellar were all brought together to be sliced and diced. The soundtrack was your usual middling offering of record companies just shoving their lesser known offerings to ge make some quick cash, but we absolutely adored this cover of "Hush" as done by Kula Shaker.

You know how 1990s this song is? We remember the video debuting on "12 Angry Viewers" with Ananda Lewis as the host.

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze, Jr. each did other classic teen films of the 1990s with Jennifer Love Hewitt appearing in "Can't Hardly Wait."

The title of the film comes from a song from the awesome Minnesota band The Replacements.

Meanwhile, Freddie Prinze Jr. was starring one of the more classic "Ugly Girl Removes Glasses and Turns Into Swan" romantic comedies in the form of "She's All That." We loved "She's All That" for every ridiculous moment, like them trying to give a proper context for all of the students knowing a highly choreographed dance sequence to Fatboy Slim's "Rockafella Skank."

And of course, we can't manage "She's All That" without mentioning Sixpence None the Richer and their tune "Kiss Me."

Sixpence None the Richer showed up on the soundtrack of a greatly underappreciated teen comedy starring Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams.

It's amazing how Michelle Williams has gone from "The Girl Not Katie Holmes on the Creek" to Academy Award nominated actress.

Another film soundtrack that we loved in the 1990s is a film that isn't technically a teen film but was embraced by teenagers as it was played countless times on Comedy Central after flopping hard at the box office. We're talking about the magic of "Empire Records."

Like a lot of films in the 1990s, the soundtrack ended up being infinitely better than the actual film. The "Empire Record" soundtrack spawned massive hits with the Gin Blossoms' "Til I Hear it From You."

And the other big hit that came from the soundtrack was Edywin Collins and his one big hit, "Girl Like You."

And that, my friends, brings this flashback to an end for this week! As always we wish you love, peace and downloads! Be sure to come back tomorrow for an extra stunning, flawless, amazing edition of the Majak Mixtape! Until then, BRING ON THE SUPERMODEL.

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