Gleecap - The ABCs of Glee

Afternoon Gleeks! Welcome to a very special edition of the Gleecap! With tonight being the finale of season two, we've decided to put a little friendly guide together in case you missed an episode or just want to refresh yourself.
Mike Chang's abs want you to keep reading!

A is for Artie, who lost Tina Cohen-Chang over the summer to Mike Chang's abs and found himself losing his virginity to Brittany and then also losing his relationship with her after he correctly pointed out what a moron she had been in regards to her cheating on him with Santana. But he did, momentarily, gain the ability to walk due to Coach Beiste.

B is for Bullying. The biggest story arc of the season has been Kurt's bullying at the hands of Dave Karofsky as season two of the show suddenly decided that throwing slushies at people was no longer funny. Maybe? We don't know. And neither did the writers. What we do know is that this is the arc that got Kurt out of the New Directions, Lauren Zizes into it, brought us the boys of Songwarts and the welcome addition of Darren Criss to the program.

C is for Cheesus, as in Grilled Cheesus for the episode titled, what else, Grilled Cheesus.

Kurt's father Burt suffered a heart attack and Kurt found himself having to deal with everybody trying to shove their religious views on him though there was no indication that Burt shared the same agnostic-at-best view point of god. And because this is a network televisions how, Kurt came to believe in something, not necessarily God or anything, due to the power of being taken to a Black church by Mercedes. Of course.

D is for Duets. Duets was our favorite episode of season 2 with the kids teaming up to sing songs together and also set the Brittany/Santana storyline in motion, had Sam officially a member of New Directions and ended with Kurt and Rachel getting in touch with their inner Garland and Streisand. Also, Mercedes and Santana worked it out to a brilliant cover of Ike and Tina's "River Deep, Mountain High."

E is Esteem, the one thing Rachel Berry desperately needs as she spent a large majority of the season pining for Finn.

F is for Fondue for Two, Brittany's amazeballs web series that featured fondue and her cat Lord Tubbington.

G is for Gwyneth Paltrow, who made two appearances on the show this season as cool substitute Holly Holiday as part of her year-long bid for people to stop thinking she was frigid bitch. Not even the power of Cee-Lo can dim that belief, Gwyneth.

H is for headband, as in "My Headband" aka one of the greatest tunes ever to be ever performed on "Glee."

I is for I CAN'T, a phrase we yell frequently while watching this show, whether it's when Sue Sylvester is assaulting somebody and getting away with it or Mr. Schue is using the kids of New Directions to get into some lady's pants or when the show makes us want to believe that the combined vocal power of Sam and Quinn could actually propel the group into Regionals.

J is for Justin Bieber, an artist who got featured heavily in the episode "Comeback" when Sam and the boys of New Directions formed their own band called The Justin Bieber Experience as a way to impress their lady friends.

K is for Klaine, the Internet nickname for the coupling of Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson. Let your little heart go pitter patter as we relive the duo's rendition of "Baby It's Cold Outside."

L is for League of Doom, the group that Sue Sylvester formed with Vocal Adrenaline coach Dustin Goolsby (played by Cheyenne Jackson), former New Directions coach Sandy Ryerson and former Schuester wife Terri.

M is for mash-ups, which this season had a few of. While we didn't really groove to the mash-up of "Umbrella/Singing in the Rain," we did enjoy the mixing together of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' "Heads Will Roll" from the Super Bowl episode of "Glee."

As well as Quinn and Rachel's duet of "I Feel Pretty/Unpretty"

N is for Nuptials as we saw Emma and Dentist Carl get married, much to the dismay of Mr. Schue. We also watched Kurt's dad and Finn's mom get married yet somehow the whole thing turned into how awesome of a person St. Kurt allegedly is.

O is for original songs, a piss poor idea the writers of "Glee" came up with this year. We're not opposed to original songs as a whole but the ones that the group actually ended up using are basic at best.

P is for PROM. It was one of the bigger episodes of the season as we had Kurt being named prom queen, Dave Karofsky getting a bit of a redemption arc, the umpteenth storyline of Quinn thinking the only thing she has to offer is her beauty, the return of Jesse St. James, Finn being all possessive over Rachel and Santana and Mercedes doing a great rendition of "Dancing Queen" while the boys sang Rebecca Black's "Friday." Whew. Too bad "Glee" only decides to have actual moving plotlines once every three or four episodes.

Q is for Quinn Fabray, who spent the season flitting back and forth between Sam and Finn because she doesn't have anything more pressing on her mind like, you know, that baby she and Puck had in season one that she gave up for adoption and is currently being raised by Rachel's birth mother. Nope. Stay focused on that freakin' tiara for prom, girl.

R is for the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" episode of "Glee." Mr. Schue, trying to woo Emma, has the New Directions kids put on the show. We find out that Sam may or may not have some sort of eating/body disorder never to be spoken of again, Finn is uncomfortable taking his shirt despite the fact that both he and Rachel are mere stick figures compared to their season one selves, and Mercedes ends up playing Frank-N-Furter because this show hates us. A lot.

S is, of course, for Sue Sylvester. God bless Jane Lynch, she's an American treasure being squandered in crappy plotlines all season long as her character has done everything short of using Acme products to destroy Mr. Schuester and the kids of New Directions. Hopefully, with the death of her sister in last week's episode, Sue will finally find some direction. AND maybe she'll explain to us the reasoning behind the lumber jack realness of "Sing."

T is for "Trouty Mouth," the other greatest song ever to be sung on this show.

U is for underage drinking, which happened when Rachel had the kids of New Directions over to her house. As things tend to happen when alcohol is involved, people ended up getting real sloppy. Drunk!Blaine may be our favorite thing to come out of season 2.

The kids of New Directions also made us like "Tik Tok" all over again.

V is for "Valerie," one of our favorite vocal performances from Ms. Santana.

W is for, of course, the Warblers. The boys of Dalton Academy essentially existed in their own show within a show on "Glee" during Kurt's time at the place. We have to say we enjoyed a lot of their performances when you removed the little detail that they brought the show to a grinding halt lots of the time. But, let us behold the magical first meeting of Blaine and his Warblers with their much ballyhooed performance of "Teenage Dream."

X is for the stamp they must have put on Charice's 8x10 headshot after her initial appearance on this show when the producers suddenly discovered she couldn't act for shit, and she pretty much disappeared for most of the season except for her appearance in "The Night of Neglect" and her alleged appearance in tonight's season finale. Below, Rachel and Charice duke it out vocally in the bathroom before Rachel sends her to a crackhouse.

Y is for You, the Gleecap reader who has stuck with us for this whole season.

Z is for Zizes, as in Lauren Zizes, who joined the kids of New Directions after Kurt went off to Songwarts. She's now dating Puck. And that's pretty much it for this character. Oh, she did throw Santana around like a ragdoll, which was funny as opposed to awful because Santana is not Kurt. The rules on violence on characters shift more than Finn's characterization this season.

And that, my Gleeks, is our little A through Z guide to some of our favorite moments of season 2 of "Glee." Be sure to come back tomorrow as we recap the big ole season finale!

As always we wish you love, peace and downloads! NOW BRING ON THE NEW DIRECTIONS ONE MORE TIME.

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