This Mixtape Goes Inaugural Balls to the Wall

There are a few things that First Lady Michelle Obama cannot stand: America’s childhood obesity problem, people with poor muscle tone in their arms, and, apparently, House Speaker John Boehner’s well-tanned bullshit as she was caught on camera rolling her eyes at the Speaker on Inauguration Day.
We here at the Mixtape, just like the rest of the world, have no idea what he said to provoke that reaction but that hasn’t stopped us from speculating wildly, also just like the rest of the world. We present you our top five guesses as to what Boehner said to Obama in a segment we’re calling:
Stay jealous of our Microsoft Paint skills.
Number Five: "Is that what they call good hair?"
Number Four: "I'm not homophobic; I just don't want to imagine Barney Frank having sex with anybody."
Number Three: "I can never decide on what Instagram tint to use on photos."
Number Two: "True story: Mitt and Ann totally sent their Olympic horse to the glue factory after it lost."
Number One: "I bet all this winter weather really makes your husband wish he was back home in Kenya. I mean Hawaii."
Continue reading Mixtapers as we take on the inauguration, Tarantino action figures, dating site jingles and other happenings in this week of pop culture.

Mixtape Drinking Game: Take a drink every time we use same variation of the word inauguration.

This week saw the second inauguration of President Obama, officially making it the best sequel we've sat through since Mannequin 2: On the Move.

President Obama delivered a stirring speech talking about climate change, gender inequality in the workplace and even gay rights. Unfortunately for us, he did not address the most important issue facing America in 2013: getting “Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apt. 23” un-cancelled by ABC because James Van Der Beek cannot live on "Dawson's Creek" residuals alone.

The inauguration is the climatic end of the presidential campaign and in honor of that, we kick off this Mixtape with Dirty Projectors doing a cover of the Usher hit "Climax."

One of the highlights of the inauguration was poet Richard Blanco and the reading of his inaugural poem "One Today."

Blanco made history as being the first gay Latino immigrant to ever get the honor of delivering an inaugural poem because Obama is now just seeing if he can have the entirety of Fox News have a brain aneurysm by the end of his second term. 
And while President Obama and Blanco made news, nobody snatched as many headlines as Secretary of Fierce Beyonce and her performance of the National Anthem.

Acclaim for the performance quickly became accusations as rumors started to circulate that the "Irreplaceable" singer had replaced her live vocals with a pre-recorded track. 

And since it wouldn't be an Obama inauguration without an R&B legend critiquing Beyonce, the media got a hold of Aretha Franklin to ask her about what she thought of Beyonce allegedly lip-syncing for the performance.

Franklin said of the situation: "I thought it was really funny, but she did a beautiful job with the pre-record ... next time I'll probably do the same" and that when she performed at the inauguration in 2009 she didn't lip-sync because, "I wanted to give people the real thing and pre-recording never crossed my mind."

In honor of this beautiful moment, we give you our favorite song of 2012, Zebra Katz and his tune "I'ma Read."

But don't worry Beyonce, RuPaul has got your back.
And that's it for our inauguration coverage. For those who aren't in detox now, we salute you and your livers.    

Still jealous of our Microsoft Paint skills I see. 

Hey Mixtapers, have you ever been listening to Nick Gilder's classic 1970s hit song "Hot Child in the City" and thought to yourself, "Golly gee, this ode to perils of child prostitution would make the perfect base for a dating website jingle?" Well you're not the only one as the minds at CougarLife.com are of the same opinion!

We can't wait for the next ad using a reworked version of Aerosmith's "Janie's Got a Gun."

In awesome music news, the band Postal Service is getting back together to hopefully end Owl City's reign of musical terror. 

The band, who put out one flaw-free album "Give Up" in 2003, are reuniting to celebrate a deluxe edition of the album. Below, our favorite Postal Service song "Clark Gable."

News of Postal Service reuniting was first posted on the blog Brooklyn Vegan; it's something we missed due to our unwavering allegiance to its rival Spanish Harlem Pescetarian. 

This week also found Vampire Weekend and the Strokes announcing they will be putting out new music in 2013. The sound you just heard was all of Tumblr collectively having an orgasm. Below, The Strokes' new song titled "One Way Trigger," which you can download for free from their website.

In "Who Thought This Was a Good Idea in the First Place" news, production on "Django Unchained" action figures have been halted , disappointing all of us here at the Mixtape who had grown tired of our "Hotel Rwanda" Playhouse. We're holding out that plans for a "Zero Dark Thirty" Bin Laden and Me doll still come to fruition.

And we end this week's Mixtape asking the eternally relevant question: what the fuck is wrong with Lindsay Lohan? No seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Lindsay Lohan? Reports came out this week that Lohan turned down a half-a-million offer to be on "Dancing With the Stars." Yes, this is the same Lohan who just last month had her accounts seized by the IRS due to owning back taxes.

Sources close to the star say she didn't want to do a reality show plus it'd take time out of her busy schedule following around The Wanted who keeps insisting that a) one of their members is not dating the "Liz and Dick" starlet and b) she's basically a groupie. It's proof that there can be something more awkward about The Wanted than their falsetto on "I Found You."

When it comes to sound advice about her life decisions, it must all sound like white noise to Lindsay at this point so our next song is the fantastic tune "White Noise" by Disclosure featuring AlunaGeorge.

Well that's it for this week! Check back in next for all-new mixtape and be sure to like us on Facebook

But before we go, we're sadly bidding a fond farewell to Atari. The classic video game company filed for bankruptcy this week. In honor of its demise, we end this week's mixtape with Tracey Morgan's rendition of "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye."

 Have a great weekend and remember to always shade responsibly.

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