Oh the VMAs, to call you a hot ass mess would be an insult to the term. Apparently after blowing your entire budget on your Cirque Du Soleil stage, you couldn't afford a proper sound system, a host who could remain cognizant, performers who could sing live, or money to bribe celebrities to attend this shitfest. You couldn't even bring out the corpse of Kurt Loder to interview celebrities on your white carpet this year. Instead you had Suchin Pak mistakingly referring to John-Travolta-in-glitter Ke$ha and her trash bag dress as "avant-garde" which clearly means you have no idea what the term means. Taylor Swift sang a song about Kanye West, proving that apparently interrupting a girl's speech in the scheme of things is worse than, say, beating her up in the back of a limo because let's be honest people are quicker to forgive Chris Brown than Kanye West. But to his credit, his incident with the Swift actually caused her to write a song that wasn't about a high school relationship and its lack of proximity to being a fairy tale so kudos Kanye.
So to make up for the crap that was this year's VMAs, we here at the Mixtape are going to flashback to some of our favorite performances in VMA histories to help get the bad taste of this year's awards out of our mouth.
First up, we flashback to a coherent Paula Abdul, which means it was a long time ago, performing on the VMAs.
See, if you're going to lipsync through a performance, you better bring it dance-wise. Usher, god bless, tried to sing most of his songs live but was too busy wheezing his way through his dance performances. And since apparently Justin Bieber's testicles dropped in the limo on the way to the awards, he was lipsyncing up a storm as well.
And is there anything more 1980s/early 1990s than Arsenio actually being invited to an awards show. We don't think so.
Next up is Jamiroquai and their live performance of "Virtual Insanity"
We put this on here because this year VMAs was filled with psuedo special effects so we'd like to reflect to a simpler time where a moving floor would blow people's fucking minds.
Bonus from this, Beck singing the New Pollution
Lastly, we flashback to 1999 with Britney Spears and NSYNC
Ah 1999, back when Britney Spears hadn't even stripped off a tuxedo yet let alone shaved her head, Justin Timberlake hadn't sold her out to make his debut album not flop and still had questionable grooming choices, Lance Bass wasn't a gay socialite, JC Chasez actually had promising recording prospects and the other members of NSYNC were actually allowed on television programs that weren't game shows or being produced by VH-1 "celebreality." A lot can change in 11 years.
So there you have it folks, a fond trip back to a time when the VMAs actually were interesting. All we can say about this year's clusterfuck of Autotune and bad styling is:
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