Oh Kim Kardashian, where do we even begin with you? We suppose in your own famewhoring way you serve a vital purpose because since E! no longer wants to play awesome shows like Hollywood Mysteries and Scandals with AJ Benza or rerun the Three's Company E! True Hollywood Story anymore, you and your troop of soul-sucking, baby-voiced sisters have taken over the airways and the magazine stands.
With Nicole Richie no longer being the insane party girl and Paris Hilton too busy dodging drug possession arrests, you are the socialite we've come to count on and have to applaud how you've built a whole multi-million dollar brand on simply having, in the words of The Soup's Joel McHale, "a big ass and a sextape" and giving new inspirations to young ladies like Laurence Fishbourne's daughter Montana who cited you as one of the chief reasons she went into the porn industry.
And yet, coming from a family with a now deceased patriarch who was a close personal friend and staunch defender of OJ Simpson, you're still not the most vile thing on your family tree. So congrats and in honor of you getting a Madame Tussad wax figure, the only thing less plastic-y than you are, we've put together this mix for you.
First up is Kanye West and his song "Flashing Lights"
We chose this song and video for a whole host of reasons: the lyrics about doing anything for attention, the bootyliciousness of the female the video, and the firm belief that when nobody is looking you're going to do the exact same thing to ex-boyfriend/first Heisman trophy winner to be stripped of title Reggie Bush.
Next up is former Savage Garden frontman Darren Hayes and his song "Popular"
"I'm willing to sleep the way to the top/I want to be popular." Hmmm, we believe that you probably say this to yourself in the mirror every day, Stuart Smalley style.
Lastly, former Floetry member Marsha Ambrosius and her hilariously titled new single "I Hope She Cheats On You (With a Basketball Player)"
Assailing the cheating ways of an ex-boyfriend, Marsha shows off how Kim Kardashian is a verb now. Not even Paris got that honor so snaps to you Ms. K but your continued presence, and the declining ratings for this season of your show, makes us believe that the viewing public is wanting to say: