It's the most wonderful time of the year, my lovelies. Oh, we're not talking about Thanksgiving/Christmastime. We're talking about the now seemingly yearly end of fall sports cheating story. It was just last year when everybody found out about Tiger Woods' extra marital 19 holes of golf he was doing. Countless of interviews with all the sideline ladies, a few porn parodies, and an ad featuring Tiger Woods' father from beyond the grave critiquing his behavior for being a mess, we find ourselves embroiled in yet another SHOCKING case of a sports athlete allegedly cheating on his wife. This time the culprit is Mr. Tony Parker and the victim of his wandering basketballs would be his wife, Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria-Parker.
There is so many deliciously jank things that we don't even know where to begin with, but we'll start with how the whole story broke.
The intrepid busybodies at TMZ initially reported at the beginning of the week that Tony Parker had filed for divorce from Eva. Ladies across the land clutched the pearls while spilling the tea over this since they had seemingly had a solid relationship of being together seven years, with three of those years being married life.
What took the story from mildly interesting to intriguing was when TMZ retracted its original story about Tony Parker filing for divorce against Eva, with his representation saying that the rumors were 100 percent false.
A split second later, TMZ then reported that Eva was filing for divorce from Tony Parker. The gossip mills were all a-churning because of the implication that Tony had had an emotional affair by way of text messaging with the wife of a former teammate. All we can say is that this situation is a:
Which only in Hollywood could somebody's divorce be a career boon for somebody else as Mario Lopez of Saved By The Bell fame quickly became Eva's de facto spokesperson. It's more dignified than his stint recently on the Wendy Williams Show:
Talking about your dick on national television? Meh, still less embarrassing than Saved By the Bell: The College Years.
It's extremely funny that during the midst of the Tony/Eva scandal, our good ole friend Tiger Woods has decided to re-emerge with his Twitter account since the world is totally too busy trying to sneak peeks at Brett Favre and Kanye West's peens to carry about his 9 iron of marital impropriety. In honor of his return, we're bumping:
We don't know how the whole situation will end. We're sure Eva will make an appearance a mandatory appearance on Oprah to discuss things. Unfortunately for her, she will have missed Oprah's last favorite things special.
We love how the audience went batshit crazy for everything from a cashmere sweater and five years of free Netflix (JEALOUS) to pretty much this after they found out about going on a free cruise:
Good or bad, we love our celebrity dish, especially when it's:
Have a good weekend everybody. And always, love, peace and downloads.