The Majak Mixtape - The Vagina Mixtape

Happy Friday everybody! We're back for another stunning, flawless, amazing, talking about lady business better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes to find euphemisms for vagina. With the Muse Theatre on the North Side of La Crosse presenting Eve Ensler vagaina-thon known as "The Vagina Monologues" to raise money for YWCA and New Horizons, we've decided to turn the Mixtape today into one big celebration of the show that has been making people laugh, cry and squirm uncomfortably in their seats since its inception in 1996. Eve Ensler, armed with over 200 interviews with women and a Clara Bow haircut, took to the stage to detail the highs and lows about womanhood, particularly the hush-hush nature about all things related to women's sexuality. Long before Kim Cattrall was faux-humping her way across the "Sex and the City" landscape in the name of feminism, Eve Ensler was setting out to reclaim the big C-word, detail the horrors of sexual abuse and the beauty of learning to love yourself.

But before we get to the Monologues, it's time for us to do what we do best:

After the Bieber-bonanza that was this week's "Glee" paired with the Beebz on the Grammys, you'd think this week would have reached maximum Bieber. BUT YOU'D BE WRONG. Sadly. The Bieber is on the cover of "Rolling Stone" and is spending the issue talking about a variety of issues. We'll give Bieber credit for neatly dodging the purity ring/Jonas Brothers answer when asked about waiting until marriage to do the okey doke by saying, "I think you should just wait for the person you're...in love with." He also adeptly gave out his political views by saying he didn't know which political party he would choose but added, "But whatever they have in Korea, that's bad." But in probably the most WTF exchange, Bieber is asked about abortion (STANDARD QUESTION FOR AN UNDERAGE POP STAR) and his response is the awesomely inarticulate answer of, "I really don't believe in abortion. It's like killing a baby?" and added that in cases abortion, "Um. Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."

Next, one hot mess offers another hot mess support. Charlie Sheen recently took to the radio to bitch about CBS and also to lend some support to Lindsay Lohan according to a report on TMZ. Charlie Sheen defended the starlet against being vilified by the media. Lindsay, busily not starring in films, apparently heard the show and according to sources was thankful for most of Sheen's words ASIDE from Sheen saying that Lohan might need to work on her impulse control. There is so much I CAN'T in that single statement that we actually thinks it collapses upon itself under the sheer weight of it all.

Speaking of Sheen, old people who routinely fall asleep in front of CBS will be happy to know that he is returning to the "Two and a Half Men" set. Yay to middling at best programming!

In other tacky tea news, Brandi Glanville, the ex fiance of LeAnn Rimes' boyfriend Eddie Cibrian has taken to Twitter, the lounge area for bad decisions, to attack LeAnn for wanting to sing at Glanville and Cibrian's son's classroom. LeAnn Rimes and Cibrian notoriously started an affair with each other while Rimes was married and Cibrian was engaged. According to RadarOnline, Glanville wrote, "I told Eddie to please tell you that I think it is highly inappropriate for you to sing in my sons class on Friday" along with, "It's Mason's week share his family with the class. it isn't ur [sic] place." Rimes, for her part, told her fans, "I have asked once and would hope my fans would please respect my wishes…please do not retweet me anyone else's drama."

Look. We get why Brandi's not buying any LeAnn Rimes any time soon besides the fact that NOBODY else is either. That kind of public humiliation doesn't just disappear but to take to Twitter to talk smack is beyond ridiculous. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE, LOOK AT YOUR TWEETS.

And that, my lovelies, was the tea for today. Next up, we celebrate "The Vagina Monologues."

Oh "The Vagina Monologues." We attended the show last year at the Muse Theatre and other than seeing a woman we've known since we were in elementary school discuss the intricacies of one's "coochie snorcher," we loved every bit of the show. It's tendency to whiplash between serious emotions and high comedy would seem schizophrenic at best in other venues, but it works incredibly well within the context of the monologues as presented in the show. So in honor of the still bold and daring show, we're honoring some fierce females who've owned their sexuality in a variety of ways to shake up the way we view females.

First up, Liz Phair. Yeah, she may have turned into a big ole sellout of epic proportions with that whole "Why Can't I?" debacle in the early 2000s but during the 1990s, Liz Phair was part of an emerging force of women who proved that being smart and attractive weren't mutually exclusive things and boldly talked about sex and relationships in ways others couldn't dare. Like, let's think about it. Madonna, for all of her shock and awe, was never really musically explicit until the "Erotica" album and even that wasn't too bad (we'll get to that later). Nothing in her catalogue quite comes close to something like Liz Phair's song "Flower Song" that has her monotone voice discussing being a blowjob queen and bluntly asserting her desires for a guy.

Even on her totally misguided attempt at crossing over, Liz Phair made a song all about being the older woman with the hot younger guy. Too bad "Cougar Town" never snapped up the little ditty for its theme song.

Another force was Ani DiFranco. Yes, we know it's almost a little too stereotypically perfect to reference DiFranco in a women's-centric mixtape. But whatever, she's still amazing and there is a reason why women and men have gravitated to her music as she spoke frankly about relationships. If you think about it "Untouchable Face" is the female version of Cee-Lo's "Fuck You."

Another act we loved for doing things their own way is the now defunct Sleater-Kinney. Armed with guitars, drums and lots of strong hooks, the group blazed their own path.

Another all girl band we loved was Luscious Jackson. We STILL have the cassingle of their track "Naked Eye" and routinely play it because we're THAT hipster d-bag.

Bonus Luscious Jackson's song from the "Clueless" soundtrack

And our last awesome female band would have to be The Donnas. Like a smart, talented, less calculated version of The Runaways, The Donnas are some of the coolest girls to ever hit the rock scene.

We interrupt this Mixtape to give you a few songs about women's private parts.

Jackie-O - Nookie
Uploaded by magdalenakarlos. - See the latest featured music videos.

The pop music world has a very complicated relationship with female empowerment as often times exploitation is dressed up as empowerment. Madonna is probably the queen of this as she used some questionable imagery like herself in chains around her neck to make a statement and to sell albums. She created pretty much the mold which most female pop stars follow now where they get half-naked on the cover for things while saying this is merely owning their sexuality. We're all for this, but we just wished that more women found ways to own their sexuality that kept their clothes on. Maybe?

On Madonna's "Erotica" album, she finally put her sexual imagery into music. Below, she talks about the joys of receiving oral sex in the tune "Where Life Begins."

A whole bevy of pop stars have followed in Madonna's footsteps like Christina Aguilera

As well as of course Britney Spears, who debuted a new video yesterday:

Can Britney Spears dance at all? We don't know. We're too busy having a seizure from all the rapid cuts. We can say that she's completely and totally dead behind the eyes throughout the whole video. We'll give Jonas Akerlund credit for giving the video a sheen of pseudo-awesome that doesn't go away until you actually focus on a) the meh-ness of the tune and b) the fact that Britney Spears is the least motivated person in the whole thing. But her hand dancing and hair twirling were on point so that's a plus. Maybe?

Well anyway, that's all we have today for the Mixtape. We hope you go and support the Muse Theatre's production of "The Vagina Monologues" because it's for a good cause AND it's a great experience. For info about tickets and such, please go to http://musetheatre.com/.

As always we wish you love, peace and downloads. BRING ON THE FEMALE EMPOWERMENT MUSIC!

No comments: