Happy St. Patrick's Day Mixtapers! Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, giving SHAMROCK SHAKE realness better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes to find a four leaf clover.
First up, in a blow to sham public relation driven relationships everywhere, Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene have split with each other. According to "NY Post" by way of the gossip site Just Jared, the duo split amicably due to their work schedules. And by work schedule, we're pretty sure Ashley Greene's beard contract was up. SATIRE JONAS BROTHERS LEGAL TIME WHO MAY BE READING THIS. SATIRE.
Elsewhere, Seann William Scott has signed on for both rehab AND all new "American Pie" film along with Jason Biggs and several of the other original cast members, taking a page out of the "Fast and Furious" playbook. We're sure Tara Reid is busily trying to get into the new "American Pie" film because botched breast jobs and the subsequent malpractice suits don't pay for themselves.
Speaking of rehab, somebody may be getting a trip to rehab for her birthday! It totally makes getting a "Burlesque" poster for our last birthday pale in comparison. Anyway, Whitney Houston is allegedly trying to pressure her daughter Bobbi Kristina to go to rehab and may go as far as even saying HELL TO THE NO to Bobbi Kristina's planned 18th birthday party extravaganza. As if Bobbi Kristina wasn't going to end up snorting a little blow here and there with such sterling examples of parental guidance quite like Whitney and Bobby "Toke It Now" Brown.
Speaking of slightly cracked out singers, Lady GaGa and her song "Born This Way" is being censored by the country of Malaysia not because it's TERRIBLE but because of the YAY GAYNESS of the lyrics according to the "NY Times." Malaysia has a long history of hating on the gays, coming for Adam Lambert's lacefront when he brought his concert tour to the country. And Beyonce even once had to cancel a show in Malaysia because some religious figures could not in fact handle all her jelly.
So that Usher sex tape may not be seeing the light of the day thanks to help from, of all people to squelch a sex tape, the head of Vivid Entertainment. According to TMZ, Vivid head Steve Hirsch has reached out to Usher to help bury the video tape. Really? And just when we had finally settled on a name for the tape: "The KY Has Got Us Falling in Love."
Speaking of the adult entertainment industry, coming up tomorrow is the fifth annual Hookies Awards, the only award show where winners thank not only God but also their pimp as well as scientist Alexander Fleming for discovering penicillin. Hosted this year by Leslie Jordan, who played Beverly Leslie on "Will and Grace," the Hookies has a variety of categories like "Best Boyfriend Fantasy," "Best Newcomer," and "Best Escort Agency." Somehow, these categories still have more dignity than anything on the "Teen Choice Awards."
And on that classy note, we end this little tea session and move onto Throwback Thursday extravaganza eleganza!
Happy Thirsty Thursday everybody! We're giving you THROWBACK REALNESS today with another stunning, flawless, amazing edition of Throwback Thursday, where we remember all the things from your childhood so you don't have to waste money therapy to unsuppress it. That's how we do. Last we took you back to the hallowed hallways of Lawndale High and the magic of "Daria" and her posse of sarcastic friends trying to survive adolescent turmoil. This week we turn our nostalgic gaze to that magical period of time when R&B started to sound mysteriously like the backing track for a "Superfly" or "Shaft" film as everybody went neo-soul crazy for a period time with their afros of earnestness and cornrows of spirituality and Erykah Badu Headdresses of spinal-snapping proportions. It was a magical time.
We kick off the playlist with D'angelo, whose "Brown Sugar" album was arguably one of the first entries in neo-soul movement.
We love D'Angelo. He had musicality up the ying yang and an adept way of writing a tune with a strong hook. And even if he couldn't write a fucking note, he still would be able to bless us with the magic that was the video "Untitled."
Unfortunately for D'Angelo, his career has been on a bit of a downturn of late and recently made headlines for pleading guilty for propositioning an undercover female police officer to give him a blowjob for $40. Here's hoping that D'Angelo maybe gets booked as a musical act for the Hookies.
Hopefully, D'Angelo will may a career comeback Maxwell-style. Maxwell was another purveyor of the whole neo-soul movement with huger than huger afro and higher than high falsetto.
Maxwell recently launched a comeback, starting with his amazing tribute to Al Green at the BET Awards.
He followed this up with his awesome single "Pretty Wings."
Another 1990s neo-soul artist who has been making an artistic upswing of late is Erykah Badu. Ms. Badu ruled the 1990s airwave with songs like "On and On" and her song "Bag Lady."
She came back strong this past year with her "New Amerykah" album that featured the controversial music video "Window Seat." She showed her artistry to all the masses. And by artistry, we mean her titties.
The neo-soul movement was a great place for females who didn't want to booty pop their way into chart dominance. Not that there is something wrong with booty poppin'. We routinely do it on the weekend.
There was the hot squeaky mess of Macy Gray.
Macy Gray is so perma-baked I get the munchies just from watching her music videos.
There were also the vocals of Jill Scott.
Also, before The Roots became the backing band for Jimmy Fallon, they teamed up with Erykah Badu for the classic tune "You Got Me" and also did a live rendition with Jill Scott.
And of course, Angie Stone, whose hit "I Wish I Didn't Miss You" proved that when neo-soul couldn't newly approximate old school sound you might as well just sample "Backstabbers."
That's all we got on the neo-soul movement. We listen to anymore, and we'll have to start our own branch of the Black Panthers.
As always, we wish you love, peace and downloads! BRING ON THE SHITTY ARK FACTORY MUSIC.
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