The Majak Mixtape - Tunesday (4/12/11)

Bienvenue Mixtapers! Welcome to yet another stunning, flawless, amazing, serving you ALBUM DROPPPING REALNESS better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes to (). Hey Mixtapers, it's Tuesday and you know what that means? It's Tunesday here at the Majak Mixtape as we rifle through the good, the bad, and the ugly of brand new album releases and we've got plenty of all three as we get new albums from the likes of Foo Fighters, Jessie J, TV on the Radio, and so much more as albums are dropping harder than golf-ball size bits of hail. But before we get to the tunes, we've got the kettle on, and it's a-whistling so time for us to:

First up, Kim Kardashian is all kinds of mad at "Cosmopolitan." And it's not even because the 101 ways to please your man list didn't include "release a sex tape in order to get an E! reality show." Instead, the Armenian-American Kardashian is furious that "Cosmopolitan" has decided to put her on the cover of the Turkey edition of "Cosmo," the very month that Armenian's celebrate Genocide Remembrance Day that honors the 1915 killing of Armenians by the Turks. We'll give credit to Kardashian about this since she has always been very vocal about her Armenian pride so we actually think she'd know Genocide Remembrance Day

In other news, we're following up that beautiful bit of father/daughter bonding we talked about yesterday when Michael Lohan stopped by Lindsay Lohan's house and LiLo decided it was best to hide from him in the closet of the place. Well, according to TMZ, all it takes to get back in Lindsay's favor is the Big C word. No, not cocaine. Or the one the ends in Next Tuesday, if you know what I mean. Nope, we're talking about Carbs as Lohan and Lohan were able to hang out the other day while enjoying some bagels with each other. Bagels always bring people together; tis one of the greatest lessons that Sandy Cohen from "The O.C." ever taught us.

Elsewhere, former LiLo lover Samantha Ronson got injured when trying to avoid a car while riding around on her bicycle. The DJ extraordinaire took to her Twitter, of course, to post a photo of herself after the incident. In the driver's defense, he was probably rocking out to "Bicycle Song" by Sam Ronson's brother Mark. Thankfully, Samnatha Ronson is okay and well be soon back to pressing shuffle on her iTunes playlist in no time.

In other news, "Octo-Mom" might need to start hoarding a lot of cardboard boxes as there attempts being made to evict her from her California home according to RadarOnline. Nadya Suleman is now in the midst of fighting for her home in a hot convoluted mess of title transfers among different folks. We don't really care that much about Nadya unless Suze Orman is yelling at her on "Oprah."

In other baby news, former "90210" star turned Oxygen network reality show fixture Tori Spelling announced that she is pregnant. Actually she announced that she and her husband Dean are pregnant. We're sorry. We know that this some we're-all-in-this-together sort of thing that has been embraced by people of late but until a dude is delivering a watermelon through his private parts, you're not pregnant together. You're having a baby. He got you knocked up. Simple biology folks. Anyway, we can never hate Tori Spelling since she gave us a) "DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES" and b) Zachary Quinto making out with a dude on her all too brief series "So NoTORIous." He can Vulcan nerve pinch us anytime.

And that's the tea for today! Wave your hands in the air like you just don't care and continue reading the rest of the Mixtape!

Hey Mixtapers! Thanks for continuing reading! Today we've got a ton of new releases to sort through so let us get down to business? Shall we? We shall!

First up, rock and roll heroes, the Foo Fighters, are back with a brand new album titled "Wasted Light" that welcomes the return of former member Pat Smear as well as an appearance of former Nirvana bandmate Krist Noveselic. Below, one of our favorite tracks "Dear Rosemary."

And another track we enjoy, "Arlandria."

We've always had a deep found respect for Dave Grohl and the boys of Foo Fighters because performing in the shadow of the legacy of Nirvana would've crippled other people (looking at you Courtney Love). Instead of letting Nirvana be his defining thing, Grohl and his band have made Foo Fighters a wonderful rock outfit. While Nirvana became mainstream by happy accident, Foo Fighters have embraced the mainstream in all of its glory. They make songs for the stadiums that are filled with large hooks and louder guitars, but with a distinct sense of humor and flair that separates them from a lot of other rock acts. It's impossible for us to ever hate on a band that can write a love song as beautiful as "Everlong" but also make a music video as gleefully hilarious as "Learn to Fly."

Also coming out with a new album this week? TV on the Radio and their new album "Nine Types of Light." Apparently the word "light" is the word du jour for albums this week. Anyway, TV on the Radio has been on a break for a little bit with band members working on other music projects and even one band member making an appearance in the Anne Hathaway film "Rachel Getting Married." We've never been very into TV on the Radio, not because of any real bias against them but because we have a lot of other bands consuming our time. So we sat down with the album and started listening to tracks and loved the mellow feel of it, different from the few tracks we had heard from the band from their earlier works. There is a great sense of songcraft in everything that they do, and we particularly love the song "Will Do."

Bonus track, we flashback to TV on the Radio's first single "Staring at the Sun."

We interrupt this Mixtape to bring you Lady GaGa falling off a piano while on tour. We assume it's the ghost of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes shoving her off, getting revenge beyond the grave for GaGa's theft of "Waterfalls" for the verses of "Born This Way."

We'll give her credit for A) never stopping the vocals and B) recovering so quickly. As always, we have to post our favorite fall down moments:

Sadly, there is no visual representation for Ciara's career.

In other new releases, two try-hard artists are putting out albums. First up, Taylor Momsen of "Gossip Girl" fame and her band The Pretty Reckless have finally put out their album "Light Me Up" stateside. It's not a bad album, a solid collection of gritty rock music. It's just unfortunate that Taylor Momsen is such an asshole. We're sorry, we know we're not supposed to call some teen girl an asshole, but she sort of is, in that Avril Lavigne way. Being a teenager, Momsen is so desperate to prove how ~edgy~ and ~different~ she is by looking exactly every other girl who has every tried to be edgy and different. Like seriously Taylor, they already did The Runaways movie, and you didn't get cast so you can wipe off the ten thousand pounds of charcoal from around your eyes and start wearing pants instead of garters.

We will give Momsen credit that her foray into music is infinitely less cringe-inducing than when her fellow "Gossip Girl" co-star Leighton Meester put out that video with Robin Thicke.

In other try-hard releases, British singer Jessie J has dropped her album "Who You Are." Not since Katy Perry hit the scene singing about kissing a girl has a pop star been so perfectly designed to get on our nerves. Jessie J, the songwriter behind Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA" earworm," is this weird mix of Kate Nash, first album Lily Allen, a dash of P!nk and probably a few other stars. It's not that we dislike her for being so nakedly calculated. We appreciate that aspect of pop music to be perfectly honest. It's the fact she's so bad at it. Just like Katy Perry, there is just a stench of desperation that runs through a lot of Jessie J's whole persona. It shouldn't take this much work to come off free-spirited should it? Anyway, hopefully Jessie J will sort herself out because her acoustic performances show a lot of promise of what she can do if she wouldn't stand in her own way.

Lastly, Paul Simon has a new album out called "So Beautiful or So What." We haven't listened to it yet, but it gave us a chance to post this Kid Cudi song we've always enjoyed that samples Simon's "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover."

And that's just a small sampling of new music for the week. As always, we wish you love, peace and downloads! BRING ON THE NEW BRITNEY SPEARS/RIHANNA S&M REMIX


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