Happy Friday everybody! Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, keeping TMZ in business better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes to dry out after spending time partying with Charlie Sheen. Sometimes in blogging there is so much hot mess in one person's existence that it simply cannot be contained in just our daily "Spill the Tea" segment. Sometimes the tea just has to overflow and become a Mixtape unto itself. And that's what is happening today as we devote the entirety of the Mixtape to the latest details of Charlie Sheen's umpteenth scandal just this month as the "Two and a Half Men" actor was rushed to the hospital yesterday amidst a flurry of innuendo and rumor. But before we dissect exactly how Charlie Sheen is the human embodiment of a Ke-Symbol of Wealth-he song, we have to do what we do best. That's right everybody, it's time for us to:
First up, Lady GaGalupe has blessed all her beloved little monster followers by Tweeting the lyrics to her upcoming single "Born This Way" yesterday.
Here is a brief sampling of some of the lyrics that are sure to be posted all over your friends' Facebook as deep, meaningful statuses:
DON'T BE A DRAG, JUST BE A QUEEN
WHETHER YOU'RE BROKE OR EVERGREEN
YOU'RE BLACK, WHITE, BEIGE, CHOLA DESCENT
YOU'RE LEBANESE, YOU'RE ORIENT
WHETHER LIFE'S DISABILITIES
LEFT YOU OUTCAST, BULLIED, OR TEASED
REJOICE AND LOVE YOURSELF TODAY
'CAUSE BABY YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY
Besides the fact that these lyrics were CLEARLY purloined from a William Shakespeare sonnet, we have to say that we appreciate that GaGa is shining a light on the woefully under-represented chola group while simultaneously using the term "Orient" like she's Cotton Hill. The song will finally make its debut on Feb. 13 as GaGa will be taking to the Grammy stage to perform it.
Elsewhere, Kate Hudson took to the "Graham Norton Show" to dismiss rumors that she is both with child and new fiance, telling the chat show host, "I don't like putting that sort of pressure on it, and I don't feel it necessary to get married," Hudson said. "I am 31, I already have one child, and have had one divorce, so it is not necessarily the golden ticket -- I just want to be happy." We say kudos to Hudson and hope she and Muse lead singer pop out as many out-of-wedlock babies their hearts desire as all the pregnancies will keep Hudson from making any of her craptastic romantic comedies.
And in a bit of completely putting the cart before the horse news, Lifetime: The Network For Women Who Want All of Their Fears of Men Validated has decided to take a break from airing the filmography of Meredith Baxter, Judith Light, Tori Spelling to put out a TV film about the romance of Prince William and his fiancee Kate Middleton. It should be noted that the film will be airing a week prior to the duo tying the knot and from a TV nightmare stance, it would be all kinds of hilarious for them to suddenly split after 8 years, just to see how Lifetime would cope with that. Also, we're really holding out that Patty Duke is tapped to play the Queen Mother.
Up next, it's an ultra mega edition of Sheen-nanigans!