1/28/11

The Majak Mixtape - Sheen-nanigans: The Mixtape

Happy Friday everybody! Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, keeping TMZ in business better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes to dry out after spending time partying with Charlie Sheen. Sometimes in blogging there is so much hot mess in one person's existence that it simply cannot be contained in just our daily "Spill the Tea" segment. Sometimes the tea just has to overflow and become a Mixtape unto itself. And that's what is happening today as we devote the entirety of the Mixtape to the latest details of Charlie Sheen's umpteenth scandal just this month as the "Two and a Half Men" actor was rushed to the hospital yesterday amidst a flurry of innuendo and rumor. But before we dissect exactly how Charlie Sheen is the human embodiment of a Ke-Symbol of Wealth-he song, we have to do what we do best. That's right everybody, it's time for us to:

First up, Lady GaGalupe has blessed all her beloved little monster followers by Tweeting the lyrics to her upcoming single "Born This Way" yesterday.

Here is a brief sampling of some of the lyrics that are sure to be posted all over your friends' Facebook as deep, meaningful statuses:
DON'T BE A DRAG, JUST BE A QUEEN

WHETHER YOU'RE BROKE OR EVERGREEN
YOU'RE BLACK, WHITE, BEIGE, CHOLA DESCENT
YOU'RE LEBANESE, YOU'RE ORIENT
WHETHER LIFE'S DISABILITIES
LEFT YOU OUTCAST, BULLIED, OR TEASED
REJOICE AND LOVE YOURSELF TODAY
'CAUSE BABY YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY
Besides the fact that these lyrics were CLEARLY purloined from a William Shakespeare sonnet, we have to say that we appreciate that GaGa is shining a light on the woefully under-represented chola group while simultaneously using the term "Orient" like she's Cotton Hill. The song will finally make its debut on Feb. 13 as GaGa will be taking to the Grammy stage to perform it.


Elsewhere, Kate Hudson took to the "Graham Norton Show" to dismiss rumors that she is both with child and new fiance, telling the chat show host, "I don't like putting that sort of pressure on it, and I don't feel it necessary to get married," Hudson said. "I am 31, I already have one child, and have had one divorce, so it is not necessarily the golden ticket -- I just want to be happy." We say kudos to Hudson and hope she and Muse lead singer pop out as many out-of-wedlock babies their hearts desire as all the pregnancies will keep Hudson from making any of her craptastic romantic comedies.

And in a bit of completely putting the cart before the horse news, Lifetime: The Network For Women Who Want All of Their Fears of Men Validated has decided to take a break from airing the filmography of Meredith Baxter, Judith Light, Tori Spelling to put out a TV film about the romance of Prince William and his fiancee Kate Middleton. It should be noted that the film will be airing a week prior to the duo tying the knot and from a TV nightmare stance, it would be all kinds of hilarious for them to suddenly split after 8 years, just to see how Lifetime would cope with that. Also, we're really holding out that Patty Duke is tapped to play the Queen Mother.

Up next, it's an ultra mega edition of Sheen-nanigans!

1/27/11

The Majak Mixtape - This Mixtape Just Got Slushied


Happy Thirsty Thursday everybody and welcome to a stunning, flawless, amazing, starting feuds better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes when it tires of trying to find continuity on an episode of "Glee." We're literally shaking, crying, twerking with excitement over the fact that this week is nearly over with.

Today, we're taking on the on-going ridiculous that is the feud between "Glee" creator Ryan Murphy and the band Kings of Leon as they continue to sling more shade than a palm tree at one another in the press and on their Twitters. (Sidenote: Twitter's slogan really should be "Twitter: Allowing You To Make An Ass Out of Yourself In Just 140 Characters") But before we get to the glorious highs that come from celebrities taking the low road, we bought a new tea kettle, some plates, and a new break-proof mug so we can really do what we do best today and:


 
First up, E! reality star and former Hugh Hefner girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson is apparently the star of a lesbian sextape according to RadarOnline as the first images from the cinema au naturale hit the Internet. Recorded back when in more freewheeling days, the tape is the second one of its pornographic kind to hit the net as Kendra also had a tape out with a former boyfriend. Kendra initially sued to have the tape blocked and cried on some tabloids about it UNTIL it was revealed that in 2008 she had set up a company sell the skin flicks, which were eventually sold to porn giant Vivid Entertainment. As seamy as porn is, we're still pretty sure it has more dignity than most of E!'s primetime line-up at this point.

Speaking of DVDs, Jessica Simpson may have an exercise DVD out whether she likes it or not according to reports, which, given her recent and well-documented weight gain, seems like a situation tailor-made for late night comedians. The video was made back in 2005 and ever since, the former Mrs. Lachey has tried her best to squash it from seeing the light of day. The rights were recently sold to a Hollywood producer who must not have read that Simpson had already won a judgment to keep the DVD from hitting the market. All of this makes us wonder how bad it can be since she had no problem slapping her name on the stinkfest that was her "I'm Fat Now So Don't Judge Me or Fat People.........Until I Lose Weight and Talk About Loving My Body Again on the cover of 'People'" show that was "The Price of Beauty."

And lastly, we debut a new addition to the pantheon of "Spill the Tea" icons with the one, the only, the passive-aggressive goddess that is Camille Grammer in a new feature we're calling "Bad Grammer."


 
Our favorite delusional star of the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills", who should be sending at least a fruit basket to co-star Kyle Richards for making her look less of a monster in comparison in the season finale, Camille Grammer and her estranged husband Kelsey are still tussling over the family fortune, but that hasn't kept Kelsey from extending an invitation to Camille to attend his wedding to the woman 29-year-old woman he's been seeing. According to PopEater, Kelsey wants his kids to attend the wedding so bad that he's gone as far as extending the invitation to Camille, thus guaranteeing one of the most wonderfully backhanded wedding toasts in history if it comes true. But what we love most of this situation is that Kelsey Grammer is not letting a little thing like not actually being divorced stop him from planning a wedding. What would Niles think of such things?!

Next up, it's a Battle Glee-yale between Kings of Leon and Ryan Murphy!

1/26/11

The Majak Mixtape - It's an Honor Just to be Mixtaped

What is the what what, everybody. Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, getting nominated and snubbing your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture goes to work on its non-bitchface when the camera cuts to it when it loses. It's one of our favorite times of year everybody. The ego orgy that is the awards season is quickly and breathlessly approaching the grand ole money shot that is the Academy Awards and yesterday 2010 Oscar winner Mo'Nique took time out of her busy schedule of inexplicably adding apostrophes to things to announce the nominations. But before we get to who is going to be going for the gold and who is going to have to watch from the stands, it's time to have some maple apple instant oatmeal with a side of TEA.



Up first, Ke-Monetary Sign of United States of America Currency-ha is being sued by her former management company, and it's shockingly not because she caused them to have some sort of glitter rash. According to a report by the always fabulous New York Post, the "We R Who We R" is being sued for some $14 million they feel she owes them. What takes this story from mildly amusing to hilarious is the amount of shade they throw at the star by saying in court documents that Kesha "is a very young and inexperienced artist whose 'star' may not continue to rise." Clearly they didn't listen to the pop opus that is "Grow a Pear" from her EP "Animal."

In other news, to the delight of people with taste, MTV's version of "Skins" found its ratings getting skinned its second week of being on the air. The show took a sharp decline in its second week, tumbling from 3.3 million viewers in the first to just 1.6 million in its second outing. Contrary to what we had been led to believe with the success of the "Twilight" series, sometimes teenagers WILL reject a shitty product geared towards them. Especially when it doesn't have a new episode of "Jersey Shore" to prop it up their teenage wanton ways.

Speaking of the Shore, the cast of "Jersey Shore" is taking its drunken rampage to Italy in their next season according to MTV. We assume this is some cosmic retribution for inflicting Giada DeLaurentis and her over-ennounciating of words onto the American public.


Next up, we take on who loved and who got snubbed by the Oscars.


1/25/11

The Majak Mixtape - New Tunes Tuesday

Happy Tuesday everybody!
Welcome to another stunning, flawless, amazing, putting the bass in our walk better than your favorite edition of the Majak Mixtape, where pop culture comes to untuck itself. We took yesterday off, but we are back now, fully recharged to throw shade and snatch wigs! As always, today is our favorite day of the week because it's NEW TUNES TUESDAY, and there are a plethora of amazing albums, singles and videos that are hitting an Itunes store, Mediafire website and a YoutTube near you as an indie band reunites, a formerly one man band made famous by a Zac Braff film releases a new album and a porn star releases a hilariously awful cover of a Diana Ross tune. But before we get to the tunes, let us get to the tea!

1/24/11

The Majak Mixtape is taking a day off to let our readers continue their celebration of the Packers victory OR mourn the Bears' loss. We'll be back tomorrow with an all new edition of New Tunes Tuesday! See you then! And as always, love, peace and downloads!